On Missing the Party and Showing up Late

Jon was late. Again.

Today it went like this:

I was planning on him being at my place around 5:20 for dinner so that we could make it to our interview with the bishop at 5:50 (he likes to meet with us regularly because we're getting hitched soon!) I called Jon at 4:50 to see if he could come over a little earlier so that we would have enough time. He informed me that he was still at work and wouldn't be able to make it 'till 5:20. No problem. I text him at 5:15, reminding him to bring rice. He replies with a phone call, informing me that I should probably just go ahead and eat because he wasn't going to make it until right before the interview.

This is the second time something like this has happened in four days. Before that it was Saturday. We were supposed to go to my cousin's baby's birthday party up in Lyndon. The party started at 5, but it's an hour and a half long drive, so we were planning on leaving at 4. I called him around 3:40, telling him that I was going to be a little late because I'd just finished my run and needed to get ready. He hesitated, and then admitted that he wouldn't be ready at 4 either...would 5 be okay? If we left at 5 we'd be pretty late, but we would still make it in time to have some fun! Come 4:45, though, Jon called me to tell me that he wasn't going to be able to make it to the birthday party at all.

Irritated. Frustrated. Annoyed. These were all emotions that I was tempted to feel in each of these occasions. Jon is ruining your plans, a voice in my mind said. And for a split moment I considered listening to that voice.

I was surprised both times, though, when I realized that I really wasn't feeling irritated, frustrated, or annoyed. In fact, I was feeling the opposite! Grateful, happy, supportive, loving--these were the emotions filling my heart. Why? Because in these moments, I realized that Jon was proving himself to be the man I have always wanted to marry.

Jon did not prevent us from going to the birthday party because he was finishing watching a football game or because he was glued to a TV screen. He was late because he was helping a man, who had recently sustained some back injuries, with his yard work. Yes, it was paid, but Jon didn't want to run off, leaving the rest of the work for the owner to do by himself. And so he stayed. Two-and-a-half hours longer than he'd been planning on so that he could serve someone in need.

Jon did not postpone having dinner with me because he was finishing up something he'd procrastinated on or because he was trying to check things off an all-important to-do list. No. He was late because right as he was leaving work, a boy trying to get to University Mall for work asked him for a ride. Of course Jon said yes, even though he'd already worked an extra hour-and-a-half past when he was supposed to be off and was cold from having worked out in the rain and was hungry and had an appointment with my bishop and I in less than an hour. He made the time to help the guy out.

I would not have it any other way. Jon is proving himself to be a man who always puts the Lord's errand first, who is always willing to help and serve, even when it's inconvenient, and I feel extremely blessed that I get to be the woman who supports him in his efforts. We missed the birthday party and were 10 minutes late to the appointment with the bishop. So what? President Monson, the worldwide prophet and leader of the LDS church, has shown up late to General Conference and other important meetings because he was serving someone in need. I figure that if the prophet of a worldwide church can show up late to a meeting that is being broadcast around the globe because he was serving the one, that Jon and I can be late to a meeting with the bishop because he is serving the one too.

So, does this mean that in a little over a month, when I marry Jon, I'll be committing myself to an eternity of missing parties, of showing up late to meetings, and of things not going according to my picture perfect plan? Possibly. But if it is for the right reasons, then that is exactly what I want. Because the best of life is not made up of parties or meetings or picture perfect plans. The best of life consists of helping those around us like the Savior would and of answering the call when He extends it.

Thank you, Jon, for making us miss the party; thank you, Jon, for making us late.

A Load of Laundry

Once upon a time I forgot my laundry in the dryer and, being away from home, asked my roommate--Emily--if she wouldn't mind grabbing it and taking it up to my room for me. When I came home, I found this on my bed:

It was all folded!!!

Just 10 minutes of her day made me feel 10 times more special and awesome and grateful to live with such an amazing person than I would have otherwise. It really is the small and simple things we do to serve those around us every single day that make us happier, make others happier, and make the world a happier place. Just think of how much happier and more grateful the world would be if we all took an extra 10 minutes tomorrow to make someone's day like Emily made mine on Saturday.

Just a thought.

“It is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. … So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving … help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow … from small but deliberate deeds!” –President Spencer W. Kimball, “Small Acts of Service”

Living as the Savior Lived

One of my favorite church leaders is President Uchtdorf. I love his teachings on perspective and attitude. In a recent General Conference, he pointed out:

"I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished. 

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time."

I have a testimony that those who live their lives as President Uchtdorf narrates the Savior living His--lives full of sincere love, concern, awareness for, and time for others--will be happy. I know from personal experience that I am the happiest when I am more concerned for the welfare of my neighbor's soul than for my own. Happiness is something you can create for yourself only when you give yourself away in the service of those around you. It's one of the greatest ironies I know of.

25 Days Reflecting on Learning: Knowing My Limits

Day One: I know I'm kinda cheating, writing something I learned yesterday a day late, but I ran out of time yesterday and so I'm writing it now. I had a super awesome realization/epiphany/oh-my-gosh-that's-why-I've-been-feeling-so-crazy-lately moment. Yesterday, I learned that I have a limit, and that I've been pushing myself past that limit for a long time. Last semester was crazy busy (what semester isn't?) but not just with school. It was busy with school and church and figuring out life. To deal with it all, I spent a lot of time trying to serve people because that makes me happy (it will make you happy too--I promise. You should try it). Serving others helped me deal with all the craziness, forget myself, and have a feeling of purpose.

Yesterday I realized, however, that I have maybe been taking the whole forget yourself and serve others principle a little too far. I think that I have been trying to serve others too much.

What? Hold on--wait:

WHAT? Lindsey saying that too much service isn't good? What on earth happened to the universe?! All she ever talks/thinks/breathes about is how important it is that we serve others. It's pretty much what keeps her blood pumping.

Yes, you read right: you can go overboard with the desire to serve others, and I think I fell off deck a while back and haven't realized it until now. Rather than having me explain it though, I'll quote President Eyring from this last Relief Society Conference:

"The Lord, who is the Master Nurturer of people in need, gave inspired counsel to weary caregivers in these words delivered by King Benjamin and recorded in the Book of Mormon: 'For the sake of retaining a remission of your sins … I would that ye should impart of your substance to the poor, every man according to that which he hath, such as feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, visiting the sick and administering to their relief, both spiritually and temporally, according to their wants.'

"But then He goes on to warn those of you who might fail to respond to the evidence that you are pushing on too far and too long in your loving service: 'And see that all these things are done in wisdom and order; for it is not requisite that a man [or any caregiver] should run faster than he has strength. And again, it is expedient that he should be diligent, that thereby he might win the prize; therefore, all things must be done in order.'

"That counsel can be hard to apply when the choice seems to be balancing a desire to do all you can to help others with the wisdom to be prudent in meeting your own needs to retain your power to serve…The Holy Ghost is sent to you and to those you care for. You will be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of your ability to serve. The Spirit will comfort you when you may wonder, 'Did I do enough?'"

Yesterday, the thing I learned was that I haven't been wise enough to balance my "desire to do all [I] can to help others with the wisdom to be prudent in meeting [my] own needs". I have been pushing myself so much out of the picture that I've been left feeling wrung-out and exhausted because my needs aren't being met. I've been feeling lonely and without friends not because I don't have them, but because when I finally find time to be with them I'm so tired drained from serving others that I don't have enough energy to, in a sense, serve myself by being myself. Last year, I was often energetic, happy, cracking jokes, being sarcastic and witty Lindsey. This year, I've been feeling too tired to be myself because I haven't left enough of myself for me--I've been giving all of me away to others. How ironic that in my efforts to give to others, I have given too much, and therefore stopped myself from being able to give as much as I could have because I'm not my best "me".

When I had this realization, I looked to the Savior's life and realized the truth in President Eyring's words. The Savior did not spend every waking moment healing the sick and raising the dead. Even He took time to go off on His own to ponder. Even He needed to spend some time with His disciples next to the fire, just talking. Even He needed friends and confidants. Were His needs always met? No. There are many, many examples of when the Savior sacrificed His own needs to fulfill others', the Atonement being the ultimate example of this. But when the will of the Father allowed, He used wisdom in making sure His needs were met along with the needs of the multitude.

I want to do better at not letting myself run on empty. I want to be better at reaching out to receive love and support from others when I need it so that I can love and support them and others in return. I want to be better at asking for service. I want to be just a little more selfishly me.

Now, this doesn't mean that I'm going to stop being crazy about wanting to love and help everyone in the world realize their worth and potential--service is still my mantra and I'll live and die by it (and think you should too)--but I am going to take it a little more slowly. The world needs me, as it needs each of us, but I also need me. This semester, while setting out to serve and love the world, I hope that I can give a little more time to serve and love myself. I hope that I will be able to, as President Eyring says, "be strengthened and yet inspired to know the limits and extent of [my] ability to serve." I trust the inspiration President Eyring talks about here because I know it comes from someone who loves me and has the fulfillment of my needs as one of His greatest concerns. Together, He and I will be able to fulfill everyone's needs--including my own--better than I ever could on my own. 

25 Reasons Why I'm Grateful for the Birth of the Savior: He Shows the Importance of Service

Reason 4: Today I'm grateful for the birth of my Savior because His life exemplified that serving others is the most important thing we can do here on this earth. President Uchtdorf put it this way in October's General Conference:

“I think of our Lord and Exemplar, Jesus Christ, and His short life among the people of Galilee and Jerusalem. I have tried to imagine Him bustling between meetings or multitasking to get a list of urgent things accomplished.

I can’t see it.

Instead I see the compassionate and caring Son of God purposefully living each day. When He interacted with those around Him, they felt important and loved. He knew the infinite value of the people He met. He blessed them, ministered to them. He lifted them up, healed them. He gave them the precious gift of His time” (OnRegrets and Resolutions, October 2012 General Conference).

There are so many ways that Christ could have spent His ministry, and He chose to spend most of it loving and healing and helping those in need. When I follow His example and live my life likewise, I feel happy and at peace. I'm so grateful to know that people are more important than events or things, and that Christ shows me how to live a life based on this principle.

Filling Shoes with Silver Dollars

We watched this today in Relief Society. When it finished, I was overcome with a desire to help and serve and love those around me. The thought that I wrote down was this: Whose shoe can I put a silver dollar in today?

There are opportunities all around us. We need to follow Sis. Burton's council from this past conference: we need to first observe, then serve.

What small and simple things will you do today to make a difference in the lives of those around you?

BYU Experience

Ashley and I at BYU Experience!

Dear Ashley, Meeting you last night at BYU experience last night was the best. I was just as excited as you were when we found out that we both signed ASL. I hope that I see you in the winter at the next BYU Experience activity!

Dear BYU Experience Program Directors, Thanks for all the hard work you went to to put together last night's party. I love that we, as BYU students, get together once a semester with the mentally handicapped young adults in Utah Valley and throw them a party. It makes their night and puts our lives into perspective. Couldn't have spent my Friday evening in any better way.

Dear Jeremy, I'm glad you came with me last night to share in the BYU Experience fun and that then you came over to my apartment afterwards to chill. It was good to have our brother around again.

Dear Roomies Plus Sarah, Being real-life friends is legit. Watching funny youtube videos until midnight is also legit (as long as you don't do it too much!) I'm officially making an executive decision: we're going to be real-life friends for life plus eternity. You have no say in the matter.

Dear Anna, I 100% mean it when I say that I don't know if I could have made it through first block without our Friday night dates. Being with you was, at times, the only thing I was holding onto. I'm glad that we can keep up the tradition, even though first block has officially ended. BYU Experience plus cookie dough making last night with you was the word "stellar" capsuled into a five hour time frame. You are a true friend and an amazing person. Thank you for being an example to me of how a daughter of God should be living her life. PS: The picture of your niece that you top-secretly put on my desktop is adorable. Aren't you so excited for the day when we get to have super cute kids of our own?!

An Instrument in His Hands

"And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work." -Alma 26:3

"The greatest thing in the world is love. And if we keep that always in our hearts, and give it as a message to those about us, we will be blessed and will be instruments in blessing those with whom we associate."  -Clarissa S. Williams, Sixth Relief Society General President, Daughters in My Kingdom page 74

"The sweetest experience I know in life is to feel a prompting and act upon it and later find out that it was the fulfillment of someone’s prayer or someone’s need. And I always want the Lord to know that if He needs an errand run, Tom Monson will run that errand for Him." -President Thomas S. Monson

"Is anyone sitting there?" I asked the lady on the plane. 

"You are!" she exclaimed. She moved the bag and bottle that had been sitting on the seat and I meandered my way down into the seat. The older lady was sitting on my left and to my right, sitting next to the window, was Kim Low--a girl from my home stake whom I happened to see out in the waiting area before we boarded the plane. I was feeling pretty lucky that the seat next to her was still open by the time I got onto the plane. 

Kim and I said hi to each other and started talking. 

"Why were you in Vancouver?"

"How are things at school?"

"You've graduated already, haven't you?"

"Where are you working right now?"

It occurred to me while we were talking that I should maybe take a second to say hi to the lady sitting to my left. I usually try to at least introduce myself to the people I sit next to on planes. But Kim and I were having a good time talking, and I figured I could introduce myself in a bit.

We were still waiting for the plane to take off when there was a brief lull in our conversation.  

"Do you two know each other?" piped up the lady, filling the pause.

Kim and I looked at each other and then back at the lady. We explained to her that we were from the same stake and also both went to BYU.

"I know the tennis coach at BYU," the lady said. "His name is Pierce. The tennis team is really good. You should look him up."

I asked her how she knew the coach.

"My son does tennis.  But he doesn't go to BYU. I'm not Mormon. But Pierce is really nice." 

I was beginning to feel like the lady really wanted to talk. Not about tennis or BYU or Mormons, necessarily, but that she just needed to talk. So I turned myself towards her, leaving Kim to read her Harry Potter book, and Paula and I talked for the next hour and a half while our plane made its way to Salt Lake City. 

The conversation I had with Paula is one of the best conversations I've had my whole life. It wasn't the content that made it so special, but the spirit that attended it. Throughout the conversation she mentioned that the reason she was in Oregon was because her father had just passed away and that she had been taking care of him and then, once he died, she had to take care of her mother. It seemed like she wanted to talk to someone about it, but I thought it would be good to talk about some other things first. So we did. We talked about her time as a nurse. She asked me what I was studying at BYU. We talked about God and serving people. We talked about Methodists (her choice of religion) verses Mormonism and about how sometimes it's hard for her to live in Utah because there are so many Mormons and she's not one of them. We talked about education. We talked about her son who's in Japan serving in the navy and her other son who's starting his senior year of high school and wants to go to NYU to study film. We talked about her involvement with a program her church does called Family Promise where they help single moms and their kids start over again. We talked about how she met her husband and my own dating life. 

In the middle of our conversation, when I felt like we knew one another a little better, I asked her about the experience with her father, and she was so glad to talk about it. She shared how hard of an experience it had been for her. She told me that her mother had althimers and that it was really hard to place her in a home. She told me about how, right after her father passed away, she went in the other room and suddenly felt a great sense of peace and love and knew that Jesus and her father were telling her it was okay and what she needed to do. She said most people thought she was silly for saying that and I told her it was the least silly thing I had ever heard. She really opened up and told me everything, and I had the sweet opportunity to be able to listen. 

"God sent you here to sit next to me," she told me several times during our flight. "You're not a coincidence, you're a God incident. He's always sending angles into my life. You're one of those angels."

At other times she would laugh and say: "I can't believe God sent me a BYU student to help me!" 

Paula and I laughed. We were serious. We hugged each other. When the plane landed I walked with her out to the baggage claim and pick-up area. 

We said goodbye to each other and gave one another one last hug. 

"Thanks again, Lindsey. You're so sweet. I would have cried the whole plane ride home if it hadn't been for you." 

I left, and that was it.

Now. I haven't shared this experience because I want to brag because I helped someone out who was having a bad day (Alma 26:11-12). I hate self-righteousness. I share this experience first of all, because it's something I want to always remember. I also share it because I want to add my testimony to President Monson's and testify that it is a truly humbling and sweet experience to know that the Lord has used you to help someone in need. I followed the Spirit when he prompted me to talk to Paula, and ended up having an incredible experience. I wasn't there to convert Paula or to shove a Book of Mormon down her throat. I was just there to be a friend. Through the experience, I got to feel the Spirit and the love Heavenly Father has for her. I know that she is special and that she is a daughter of God who is doing her best to be her best.  

I want my life to be filled with Paulas. Like President Monson, I want the Lord to be able to trust and rely on me to answer the prays of others. I cannot describe to you how humbling it feels to know that the Lord used me to help someone who was in need. That He trusted me. That I was an instrument in His hands. 

Seek out those promptings of the Spirit and determine to follow them when they do come. I promise you that   you will live with greater peace and joy when you let the Lord use you to do His work. When you do, some of the greatest experiences of your life will follow.

Charity

“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”  -Alma 37:6-7

"Brothers and sisters, may I reemphasize that the most important attribute of Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son that we should desire and seek to possess within our lives is the gift of charity, "the pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47). From this gift springs our capacity to love and to serve others as the Savior did . . . Like the small flecks of  gold that accumulate over time into a large treasure, our small simple acts of kindness and service will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy each time we reach out to one another."  -M. Russell Balard, Finding Joy through Loving Service, April 2011 General Conference

Being charitable does not have to be a big thing. In fact, it should not be a big thing. It should be many small, little things (though really no act of service is ever small). It's uplifting those who need uplifted. It's enlightening those who think they're of little worth. It's befriending someone who needs a friend. It's visiting someone who's alone. It's listening to someone who needs to talk. In short: it's loving people that need to be loved (just a hint: that's everyone). True charity is learning to love and treat people the way Christ would were He here. It will transform us so that we begin to not only act as the Savior would, but to think and feel the way He would too. It is essentially what helps us become like Him.

And I really do mean it when I say it's the small and simple things that count. It's not so much the act itself, but the fact that someone was thoughtful enough to act that makes service meaningful. We don't need to throw huge philanthropically themed events in order to do this. We can take five minutes to send someone an uplifting text message or to drop by and say a genuine 'Hi!' Five minutes of the day, people. Out of 1440. That's 0.35%. God has given us life and eternity. We can afford 0.35% of our days to help Him serve His children.

Let's all start being the super awesome people we are by getting up on our feet and going out to serve each other. Let's make Heavenly Father's day by choosing to be happier, kinder, friendlier, thoughtfuler, givinger, awesomer people. Service is awesome, and we are all awesome people, so let's put the two together by living with more charity today than we did yesterday. We can do it. 

Letters

Dear Kate, Today I received the most aweomest letter ever! So of course, it had to be from you. Thank you so extremely super much. You made my day.

Dear Kyle, Mentoring you every week for several hours with Brian Baird is always fun. Today, doing an egg drop experience, was especially fun. I do have to say though, the best part was probably when we came to pick you up and your mom was so excited to tell us about your latest school project and of how you'd gone to meet Charles Schulz's daughter and all you wanted to talk about was video games. It was almost as funny as the time you couldn't give the dinosaur museum credit for recreating a bunch of fossils correctly because if they wanted to make it look like it did in real life, it should have obviously been covered with skin. 12 year olds like you rock.

Dear Emily Christensen, Thanks for sharing a table in the library. I love that you're not afraid to pray in the library (like me!) And PS: I like your ugly shorts.

Dear Lauren, Fantastic job today performing your play (Suicide House). I'm glad that you're finished and will now have more time to be happy!

Dear Roommates, Sorry for any of the bad weather I might have brought into the apartment this week. Luckily, the weatherman says that clear skies are on their way! Until then, thanks for putting up with a "rain-cloud Lindsey."

Dear Amelia and Morgan, This is why I love you:

'nuff said.

Goals, Motivations, and Aspirations

"While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet."   -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", 2011 Relief Society Broadcast

Why I Do What I Do:

• So I can help others return to Heavenly Father
• So I can return to Heavenly Father
• So I can one day be happily married and raise righteous children
• So I can become a better person
• So I can learn
• So I can uplift others
• So I can be eternally happy
• So I can one day be like God
• So I can show Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I love and care for Them and am grateful for all they do for me
• So I can go to the temple
• So I can have the Spirit's comfort and direction in my life

Desires I Have

• To love God and feel His love for me in return so that I can share His love with others
• To serve, uplift, and inspire people
• To be happy here and now
• To get married
• To have children
• To know, understand, and love the scriptures
• To graduate from BYU with an English teaching major
• To love, respect, and care for my body
• To love going to the temple
• To love, support, and help my parents and sisters
• To feel confident that I'm living the life God wants me to
• To return to live with my Heavenly Father for forever
• To have a firm relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior here and now

My "To Be" List

• A good daughter
• A good wife
• A good mother and grandmother
• An avid scriptorian
• A helper
• A happy person
• A missionary
• A friend
• A disciple of Christ
• A humble person
• Someone who develops her talents
• Someone who loves being a girl and understands why that make me special
• Someone who knows the Lord and talks with Him multiple times a day
• Someone who wisely makes her own decisions and confirms them with the Lord 
• A person who understands the divinity which God has given me 

Letters

"Tea Time" with a bunch of awesome ward members!

Dear Aunt Martha, Uncle David, and family; Thank you SO MUCH for the yummy lasagna and for sending home leftovers! I'm so lucky to have family close by.

Dear Jordan and Corina, As always--thanks for driving me!

Dear Ward Family, I can't say enough "thank you"s to you all for including me in tonight's fun! Playing mafia, laughing, talking, and drinking herbal tea was fantastic. All night I was half expecting you guys to rip of your shirts and fly away in spandex because you're just that super awesome. Not that I was thinking about how you all would look in spandex.

Dear Everyone Who Noticed, You weren't supposed to notice my small act of kindness, but because you're so amazing you did. Thanks for going out of your way to compliment me about it. Your guys' kind words are just as meaningful to me as my small act might have been to someone else.


Dear Monday, Are you ready to be awesome? Good.  Me too. Let's do this.

Letters

Dear Treadmill, Thanks for being super awesome and for letting me run barefoot on you yesterday. I enjoyed receiving strange looks from the other girls in the gym.

Dear BYU Experience, Thanks for giving me one of the funnest nights I've had at BYU yet! Watching science expiments, listening to Noteworthy sing, doing kareeoke, being silly, and dancing the night away is pretty much the best. Especially thanks to Devin, Randy, and Shey for being my buddies for the night. You guys ROCK!

Dear Roommates, You guys are better than finding out that my 30 page reading assignment is written by Jane Austen. Keep being awesome!

Charity

“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily drovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail— But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” -Moroni 7:45-47

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.” -Marvin J. Ashton, “The Tongue Can be a Sharp Sword”, April 1992 General Conference

Charity is not an action. It is an attitude--a state of heart. Charity is only associated with doing good works because these actions help develop this state of heart. I think that the best way to have charity is to try to see and treat everyone the way our Father in Heaven sees and would treat them. When we "borrow" Heavenly Father's lens our view becomes purer. Seeing people the way Heavenly Father sees them allows us to look past sins, bad habits, annoying tendencies, and other imperfections and allows us to truly love someone.

Some of the most precious experiences I've ever had have come because I felt the love Heavenly Father had for the people I was working with. Feeling the love Heavenly Father has for one of His children will stop every unkind word, reverse every unkind thought, and change every belittling action. It will enable you to unconditionally give them the benefit of the doubt. It will give you the desire to help that person succeed. It will enable you to give them the best. It will help you see Heavenly Father's children as important, smart, talented, and amazing individuals because you come to realize that they really are. The best part of doing all this is that you begin to realize that Heavenly Father loves you just as much too. Doing these things will lead to true happiness.

Don't Worry--Be Happy!

“If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. If thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God with supplication, that your souls may be joyful.”

-D&C 136:28-29

“Do you think our Father in Heaven wants you to feel depressed and sad? He wants no such thing. He has provided the commandments, which are the royal road to a life of purpose, peace, and joy. All we need to do is follow it. Knowing and living God’s commandments really do lead to fulfillment and to joy. Our destiny is greater than we can imagine. If only we understood who we are and what is in store for us, our hearts would overflow with such gratitude and happiness that it would enlighten even the darkest sorrows with the light and love of God, our Heavenly Father.

The next time you feel unhappy, remember where you came from and where you are going. Rather than focus on things that dampen your thoughts with sorrow, choose to focus on those things that fill your soul with hope. You will realize that these things are always connected to serving God and our fellowmen. It is well for you to laugh! It is well for you to be happy! Lift up your voices and “praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving”.

I cannot imagine a heaven filled only with somber beings who never speak up or who do not enjoy music and visiting with each other. That is not heaven for me. I am certain that you were not created to spend the hours and days of your lives isolated from each other in worry or despair. You were created to have joy, so let’s celebrate the merciful blessings of a joyful and loving Heavenly Father!

You don’t need to wait for permission to fill your hearts with thanksgiving and happiness. You can do this nicely on your own. It is my earnest prayer that the knowledge of who you are and what you may become will fill your souls with the peaceable love of God and that this will ignite within you a happiness worthy of your true heritage, for in truth you are princes and princesses, kings and queens.”

-President Uchtdorf

It's hard for me to stay optimistic and upbeat during winter. Everything just seems gloomier, darker, sadder, bader, worser. Turning to Christ and serving those around me is the only way I've found to beat these winter blues. I think sometimes we focus too much on how Heavenly Father wants us to grow and improve to be more like Him and not enough on how extremely super much He wants us to be happy. When we are happy it makes Him happy because we are not only His work and His glory, but His source of joy.

And besides--there is SO much to be happy about! There's family and friends and school and church and scriptures and prayer and sunshine and heated homes and birthdays and books and shoes and socks and food and yummy smells and technology and chocolate and laughter and bodies and music and marriage and service and work and kids and cute old people and the color green and ice cream and washing machines and dirt and showers and chick flicks and letters and smiles and goals and purpose and feelings and so many other wonderful things. Refuse to let Satan pull you down. Fight back, make the hard choices, and be happy.