Another Week

This past week has been filled with many fun activities. On Tuesday we had Jon's old mission companion, Andrew Perkinson, over for dinner. It was fun to sit and listen to the boys reminisce over mission times and to tell stories. I love how much Jon loves his mission. It's one of my favorite things about him!

Thursday we join Steve and Milli again for dinner and to watch the BYU football game. Growing-up in a house of all girls, I never watched football (or any other sport) when I was little (my poor father!) Hence, I don't really have a love for watching the game. Since marrying Jon, I've tried to change this. It was so nice to have Milli--who was often similarly confused/clueless as to what was going on--while we watched the game. Friday, we made pizza and watched a movie. Saturday Jon helped our ward with Friends of Scouting money donations while I ran errands and we went to Stake Conference in the evening.

Okay, so I look a little excited
about the popcorn too...

Today we went to Stake Conference in the morning and heard the words of apostles and other inspired church leaders. I was very grateful for the inspiration and guidance I received by listening to their words. This upcoming week feels so much more doable and exciting because of the comfort and direction these leaders provided. And just because Jon has to keep things interesting, he brought a Ziplock bag full of popcorn to the meeting so that he could have a snack like a three-year-old. I thought he'd get there and be embarrassed. Wrong. He ate from the bag like it was a badge of honor. Children...

 Lunch after Stake Conference was one of the best lunches I've had in ages. We invited my friend, Anna Stewart, over to join us. Anna just got back from serving an eighteen month mission for the church and I hadn't seen her since she got back until today. Before Jon and I went crazy and decided to get married, Anna and I had been planning on living together when she got back. Now when people ask her if she moved into a place with anyone she knows she gets to tell them that she was going to but that instead her friend ditched her and got hitched. Oops. Luckily, she doesn't hate me, which is a rather wonderful thing because as wonderful as Jon is, it is rather awesome to also have girlfriends in my life too. I hope Anna and I get to see each other often and maybe even go to the temple together like we used to always do.

We ended today by spending dinner at the house of one of Jon's coworkers--Nathan. Nathan has severe autism, so rather than serving a full-time mission, he works with Jon's BYU ground's crew as a service missionary. The food was delicious and spending time with Jon's coworkers/friends was super fun, but the best part of the evening was hearing Nathan's mom express her gratitude to Jon's crew for letting her son work with them. She talked about how many people get easily annoyed with Nathan, making him feel unwelcome, and about how it's been hard for their family to find places where he feels loved. Jon's crew, however, has been one place that Nathan has felt welcomed and loved. As her eyes gleamed with tears the Spirit whispered to me: This is what life's all about...helping the heavily burdened, welcoming those that others turn away, loving everyone--especially the outcasts, and making people feel the way that Nathan's mom feels about Jon's crew. 

It was the perfect way to end my Sunday. My life is absolutely perfect right now: I love my job, my husband, my ward, my apartment, my calling, my family, literally everything! However, even though it's absolutely perfect, everything is so new, which makes life sometimes hard to figure out. Along with all the joys of my new married/being-a-teacher life, the past few weeks have held their share of tears, frustrations, and moments of feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing and/or like I'm messing everything up. As these crazy moments have come, I've found myself wracking my brain, trying to find the secret answer to knowing how to fix everything. Today, though, Stake Conference reminded me that there's one fail safe source I can always turn to for help, and Nathan's mom reminded me that there's always one fail safe solution that will help me feel better: Christ is the fail safe source--I can always turn to Him for help, and charity--loving others as He does--is the fail safe solution that will always make me feel better. In the busyness of getting married and starting teaching I've lost track of these two things. After this weekend, though, I feel humbled and I'm determined to be better at remembering Christ and living with charity in my heart. I'm so grateful for the answers that the gospel provides. After 22 years it has never failed me, and for the rest of eternity I know that it never will.

On Missing the Party and Showing up Late

Jon was late. Again.

Today it went like this:

I was planning on him being at my place around 5:20 for dinner so that we could make it to our interview with the bishop at 5:50 (he likes to meet with us regularly because we're getting hitched soon!) I called Jon at 4:50 to see if he could come over a little earlier so that we would have enough time. He informed me that he was still at work and wouldn't be able to make it 'till 5:20. No problem. I text him at 5:15, reminding him to bring rice. He replies with a phone call, informing me that I should probably just go ahead and eat because he wasn't going to make it until right before the interview.

This is the second time something like this has happened in four days. Before that it was Saturday. We were supposed to go to my cousin's baby's birthday party up in Lyndon. The party started at 5, but it's an hour and a half long drive, so we were planning on leaving at 4. I called him around 3:40, telling him that I was going to be a little late because I'd just finished my run and needed to get ready. He hesitated, and then admitted that he wouldn't be ready at 4 either...would 5 be okay? If we left at 5 we'd be pretty late, but we would still make it in time to have some fun! Come 4:45, though, Jon called me to tell me that he wasn't going to be able to make it to the birthday party at all.

Irritated. Frustrated. Annoyed. These were all emotions that I was tempted to feel in each of these occasions. Jon is ruining your plans, a voice in my mind said. And for a split moment I considered listening to that voice.

I was surprised both times, though, when I realized that I really wasn't feeling irritated, frustrated, or annoyed. In fact, I was feeling the opposite! Grateful, happy, supportive, loving--these were the emotions filling my heart. Why? Because in these moments, I realized that Jon was proving himself to be the man I have always wanted to marry.

Jon did not prevent us from going to the birthday party because he was finishing watching a football game or because he was glued to a TV screen. He was late because he was helping a man, who had recently sustained some back injuries, with his yard work. Yes, it was paid, but Jon didn't want to run off, leaving the rest of the work for the owner to do by himself. And so he stayed. Two-and-a-half hours longer than he'd been planning on so that he could serve someone in need.

Jon did not postpone having dinner with me because he was finishing up something he'd procrastinated on or because he was trying to check things off an all-important to-do list. No. He was late because right as he was leaving work, a boy trying to get to University Mall for work asked him for a ride. Of course Jon said yes, even though he'd already worked an extra hour-and-a-half past when he was supposed to be off and was cold from having worked out in the rain and was hungry and had an appointment with my bishop and I in less than an hour. He made the time to help the guy out.

I would not have it any other way. Jon is proving himself to be a man who always puts the Lord's errand first, who is always willing to help and serve, even when it's inconvenient, and I feel extremely blessed that I get to be the woman who supports him in his efforts. We missed the birthday party and were 10 minutes late to the appointment with the bishop. So what? President Monson, the worldwide prophet and leader of the LDS church, has shown up late to General Conference and other important meetings because he was serving someone in need. I figure that if the prophet of a worldwide church can show up late to a meeting that is being broadcast around the globe because he was serving the one, that Jon and I can be late to a meeting with the bishop because he is serving the one too.

So, does this mean that in a little over a month, when I marry Jon, I'll be committing myself to an eternity of missing parties, of showing up late to meetings, and of things not going according to my picture perfect plan? Possibly. But if it is for the right reasons, then that is exactly what I want. Because the best of life is not made up of parties or meetings or picture perfect plans. The best of life consists of helping those around us like the Savior would and of answering the call when He extends it.

Thank you, Jon, for making us miss the party; thank you, Jon, for making us late.

Give the Benefit of the Doubt

Today while I was picking weeds along Center Street in Provo at work, I listened to President Utchdorf's talk, "Your Wonderful Journey Home." This part in particular stood out to me:

"Now, take a moment right now and look at the people around you. Some may be your leaders, friends, or family members. Others you may have never met before. Nevertheless, everyone you see around you—in this meeting or at any other place, today or at any other time—was valiant in the premortal world. That unassuming and ordinary-looking person sitting next to you may have been one of the great figures you loved and admired in the sphere of spirits. You may have been such a role model yourself!

Of one thing you can be certain: every person you see—no matter the race, religion, political beliefs, body type, or appearance—is family. The young woman you look at has the same Heavenly Father as you, and she left His loving presence just as you did, eager to come to this earth and live so that she could one day return to Him…

…Life can be difficult, and it can harden hearts to the point where certain people seem unreachable. Some may be filled with anger. Others may mock and ridicule those who believe in a loving God. But consider this: though they do not remember, they too at one time yearned to return to their Father in Heaven."

As I listened to President Utchdorf's words, I did as he instructed and looked up at the people around me. Many of these people were seemingly ordinary, people who were on their lunch break or on their way to a meeting for work. But as I thought more about it, I considered the people who are often found on other blocks along Center Street, those who seemingly camp out in front of the tobacco store and bars. These people are often dirty, unkempt, their hair is long and unwashed, their bodies are shriveling away from lack of nutrition and their hands shake because the addictions in their life are so consuming that they can't hold still. Sometimes they sing random made-up songs that don't make sense to random citizens on the street; other times they talk to people who aren't even there. As I thought of these people in the context of President Utchdorf's words, my heart ached with compassion and love for these people. These too are my family. Even though they have now taken paths that have lead them down dark and lonely roads, they too were faithful in the life before this one. 

This experience, coupled with some of the thoughts I have had over the past several days, convince me that we would all do a little better to give one another more of the benefit of the doubt. It is so tempting to judge the addicted beggar on the street, but we would be much happier if we extended a hand of love and encouragement instead. It is easy to judge someone who is in a bad temper, but if we  merely assume that they are just having a bad day, we will walk away feeling charity for that individual rather than contempt. 

I know that the happiest people in the world are not those who walk around assuming the worst, blaming others, and sticking up their noses. The happiest people in the world are those who live with a spirit of kindness and love continually in their hearts. Not only do these people help those who's lives they touch, they help themselves. Why? Because those who act as Christ did and would come to know Him. That is happiness.

Christmas Through Heaven's Eyes

My heart has been touched recently with love from God and with loving admiration for those around me. I have been blessed to feel a greater measure of the Spirit in my days. I have been blessed to see those around me through His eyes. I have been blessed to taste the love God has for my fellowmen, which has increased the love I have for them myself. In this season of Christmas, amid the business of finals and shopping and decorating and travel, I pray that I may be able to keep this love within my heart and to use it to guide my perspective and my everyday dealings with the loved ones that surround me. I do not want to sell that which is most important to me for a bowl of porridge; I do not want to overlook caring for and loving those around me for far lesser aspirations, such as doing good in school. People--not grades or goals or things--create the substance of life.

This Christmas season, I want to start looking at things a little more through Heaven's eyes.

Missionary Work

“Now they were desirous that salvation should be declared to every creature, for they could not bear that any human soul should perish; yea, even the very thoughts that any soul should endure endless torment did cause them to quake and tremble. And thus did the Spirit of the Lord work upon them, for they were the very vilest of sinners. And the Lord saw fit in his infinite mercy to spare them; nevertheless they suffered much anguish of soul because of their iniquities, suffering much and fearing that they should be cast off forever.” –Mosiah 28:3-4

"Like the sons of Mosiah, they had felt the effects of sin in their own lives and the marvelous healing of the Atonement within the Church of God. Out of love and gratitude for the Savior’s gift to them, they wanted to help everyone they could to escape the sadness of sin, feel the joy of forgiveness, and gather with them to safety in the kingdom of God. It was the love of God and the love for their friends and neighbors that unified them to serve the people. They desired to take the gospel to everyone in their part of the world. And they prepared their children to be worthy to be called by the Lord to teach, to testify, and to serve in other parts of His vineyard." -President Henry B. Eyring, We Are One

One measure of our conversion is the degree to which we desire to share the gospel with others. When we love the Lord and truly want to follow Him, we will naturally want to share this love and joy with others. We will want those around us to experience the same love and peace in their lives which we receive in ours from following the commandments and from building a personal relationship with the Lord. Ultimately, the true disciple desires his neighbor's salvation as much--if not more--than his own. When charity becomes the motivator behind all our interactions with others we will desire nothing more than to offer them the best of that which we have--the gospel of Jesus Christ. 

An Instrument in His Hands

"And this is the blessing which hath been bestowed upon us, that we have been made instruments in the hands of God to bring about this great work." -Alma 26:3

"The greatest thing in the world is love. And if we keep that always in our hearts, and give it as a message to those about us, we will be blessed and will be instruments in blessing those with whom we associate."  -Clarissa S. Williams, Sixth Relief Society General President, Daughters in My Kingdom page 74

"The sweetest experience I know in life is to feel a prompting and act upon it and later find out that it was the fulfillment of someone’s prayer or someone’s need. And I always want the Lord to know that if He needs an errand run, Tom Monson will run that errand for Him." -President Thomas S. Monson

"Is anyone sitting there?" I asked the lady on the plane. 

"You are!" she exclaimed. She moved the bag and bottle that had been sitting on the seat and I meandered my way down into the seat. The older lady was sitting on my left and to my right, sitting next to the window, was Kim Low--a girl from my home stake whom I happened to see out in the waiting area before we boarded the plane. I was feeling pretty lucky that the seat next to her was still open by the time I got onto the plane. 

Kim and I said hi to each other and started talking. 

"Why were you in Vancouver?"

"How are things at school?"

"You've graduated already, haven't you?"

"Where are you working right now?"

It occurred to me while we were talking that I should maybe take a second to say hi to the lady sitting to my left. I usually try to at least introduce myself to the people I sit next to on planes. But Kim and I were having a good time talking, and I figured I could introduce myself in a bit.

We were still waiting for the plane to take off when there was a brief lull in our conversation.  

"Do you two know each other?" piped up the lady, filling the pause.

Kim and I looked at each other and then back at the lady. We explained to her that we were from the same stake and also both went to BYU.

"I know the tennis coach at BYU," the lady said. "His name is Pierce. The tennis team is really good. You should look him up."

I asked her how she knew the coach.

"My son does tennis.  But he doesn't go to BYU. I'm not Mormon. But Pierce is really nice." 

I was beginning to feel like the lady really wanted to talk. Not about tennis or BYU or Mormons, necessarily, but that she just needed to talk. So I turned myself towards her, leaving Kim to read her Harry Potter book, and Paula and I talked for the next hour and a half while our plane made its way to Salt Lake City. 

The conversation I had with Paula is one of the best conversations I've had my whole life. It wasn't the content that made it so special, but the spirit that attended it. Throughout the conversation she mentioned that the reason she was in Oregon was because her father had just passed away and that she had been taking care of him and then, once he died, she had to take care of her mother. It seemed like she wanted to talk to someone about it, but I thought it would be good to talk about some other things first. So we did. We talked about her time as a nurse. She asked me what I was studying at BYU. We talked about God and serving people. We talked about Methodists (her choice of religion) verses Mormonism and about how sometimes it's hard for her to live in Utah because there are so many Mormons and she's not one of them. We talked about education. We talked about her son who's in Japan serving in the navy and her other son who's starting his senior year of high school and wants to go to NYU to study film. We talked about her involvement with a program her church does called Family Promise where they help single moms and their kids start over again. We talked about how she met her husband and my own dating life. 

In the middle of our conversation, when I felt like we knew one another a little better, I asked her about the experience with her father, and she was so glad to talk about it. She shared how hard of an experience it had been for her. She told me that her mother had althimers and that it was really hard to place her in a home. She told me about how, right after her father passed away, she went in the other room and suddenly felt a great sense of peace and love and knew that Jesus and her father were telling her it was okay and what she needed to do. She said most people thought she was silly for saying that and I told her it was the least silly thing I had ever heard. She really opened up and told me everything, and I had the sweet opportunity to be able to listen. 

"God sent you here to sit next to me," she told me several times during our flight. "You're not a coincidence, you're a God incident. He's always sending angles into my life. You're one of those angels."

At other times she would laugh and say: "I can't believe God sent me a BYU student to help me!" 

Paula and I laughed. We were serious. We hugged each other. When the plane landed I walked with her out to the baggage claim and pick-up area. 

We said goodbye to each other and gave one another one last hug. 

"Thanks again, Lindsey. You're so sweet. I would have cried the whole plane ride home if it hadn't been for you." 

I left, and that was it.

Now. I haven't shared this experience because I want to brag because I helped someone out who was having a bad day (Alma 26:11-12). I hate self-righteousness. I share this experience first of all, because it's something I want to always remember. I also share it because I want to add my testimony to President Monson's and testify that it is a truly humbling and sweet experience to know that the Lord has used you to help someone in need. I followed the Spirit when he prompted me to talk to Paula, and ended up having an incredible experience. I wasn't there to convert Paula or to shove a Book of Mormon down her throat. I was just there to be a friend. Through the experience, I got to feel the Spirit and the love Heavenly Father has for her. I know that she is special and that she is a daughter of God who is doing her best to be her best.  

I want my life to be filled with Paulas. Like President Monson, I want the Lord to be able to trust and rely on me to answer the prays of others. I cannot describe to you how humbling it feels to know that the Lord used me to help someone who was in need. That He trusted me. That I was an instrument in His hands. 

Seek out those promptings of the Spirit and determine to follow them when they do come. I promise you that   you will live with greater peace and joy when you let the Lord use you to do His work. When you do, some of the greatest experiences of your life will follow.

Letters

Dear Ward, It would be hard to find another student ward with members as loving and charitable as you are. From sitting next to people who were alone in church to helping Leslie at 9pm on a Saturday night with her project to just being all-around awesome/amazing people--you guys are the best.

Dear Brad/Spencer/Eric/Kristin, Happy birthday! Thanks for being awesome friends. Each and every one of you have lifted me when I was having a low day. Each and every one of you have made me smile. Each and every one of you make me very grateful to be your friend. I love you guys!

AWESOME (and very wet) ward activity!

Dear Ward (Again), The kickball/water balloon fight activity on Saturday was a BLAST! Thanks for being so much fun to be with.

Bishop and the boys of S106 at Treat Night. Bishop posted this picture on facebook. I think he's on there more than any of us are.

Dear Bishop, Thanks for being an amazing Bishop and for being willing to be goofy and awesome. I appreciate all you do for our ward and for me.


Dear Sarah Porter, You give awesome Relief Society lessons. The End.

Dear Hannah, Thanks for putting together the picnic at Provo Lake yesterday afternoon. It was so much fun to eat super good food, practice super awesome ASL, and be with super awesome people. I like you!

Dear Emily, I love you and am so super excited that you're coming to live with me in a few weeks. We're going to have super awesome fun!

Dear Family, Excited to go backpacking with you guys in a few weeks? Affirmative.

Dear Heavenly Father, I don't even know what to type, but I suppose that's okay. You get it.

Charity

“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise. And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”  -Alma 37:6-7

"Brothers and sisters, may I reemphasize that the most important attribute of Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son that we should desire and seek to possess within our lives is the gift of charity, "the pure love of Christ" (Moroni 7:47). From this gift springs our capacity to love and to serve others as the Savior did . . . Like the small flecks of  gold that accumulate over time into a large treasure, our small simple acts of kindness and service will accumulate into a life filled with love for Heavenly Father, devotion to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ, and a sense of peace and joy each time we reach out to one another."  -M. Russell Balard, Finding Joy through Loving Service, April 2011 General Conference

Being charitable does not have to be a big thing. In fact, it should not be a big thing. It should be many small, little things (though really no act of service is ever small). It's uplifting those who need uplifted. It's enlightening those who think they're of little worth. It's befriending someone who needs a friend. It's visiting someone who's alone. It's listening to someone who needs to talk. In short: it's loving people that need to be loved (just a hint: that's everyone). True charity is learning to love and treat people the way Christ would were He here. It will transform us so that we begin to not only act as the Savior would, but to think and feel the way He would too. It is essentially what helps us become like Him.

And I really do mean it when I say it's the small and simple things that count. It's not so much the act itself, but the fact that someone was thoughtful enough to act that makes service meaningful. We don't need to throw huge philanthropically themed events in order to do this. We can take five minutes to send someone an uplifting text message or to drop by and say a genuine 'Hi!' Five minutes of the day, people. Out of 1440. That's 0.35%. God has given us life and eternity. We can afford 0.35% of our days to help Him serve His children.

Let's all start being the super awesome people we are by getting up on our feet and going out to serve each other. Let's make Heavenly Father's day by choosing to be happier, kinder, friendlier, thoughtfuler, givinger, awesomer people. Service is awesome, and we are all awesome people, so let's put the two together by living with more charity today than we did yesterday. We can do it. 

Goals, Motivations, and Aspirations

"While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet."   -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", 2011 Relief Society Broadcast

Why I Do What I Do:

• So I can help others return to Heavenly Father
• So I can return to Heavenly Father
• So I can one day be happily married and raise righteous children
• So I can become a better person
• So I can learn
• So I can uplift others
• So I can be eternally happy
• So I can one day be like God
• So I can show Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I love and care for Them and am grateful for all they do for me
• So I can go to the temple
• So I can have the Spirit's comfort and direction in my life

Desires I Have

• To love God and feel His love for me in return so that I can share His love with others
• To serve, uplift, and inspire people
• To be happy here and now
• To get married
• To have children
• To know, understand, and love the scriptures
• To graduate from BYU with an English teaching major
• To love, respect, and care for my body
• To love going to the temple
• To love, support, and help my parents and sisters
• To feel confident that I'm living the life God wants me to
• To return to live with my Heavenly Father for forever
• To have a firm relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior here and now

My "To Be" List

• A good daughter
• A good wife
• A good mother and grandmother
• An avid scriptorian
• A helper
• A happy person
• A missionary
• A friend
• A disciple of Christ
• A humble person
• Someone who develops her talents
• Someone who loves being a girl and understands why that make me special
• Someone who knows the Lord and talks with Him multiple times a day
• Someone who wisely makes her own decisions and confirms them with the Lord 
• A person who understands the divinity which God has given me 

Charity

“And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily drovoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, if ye have not charity, ye are nothing, for charity never faileth. Wherefore, cleave unto charity, which is the greatest of all, for all things must fail— But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.” -Moroni 7:45-47

“Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don’t judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet. Charity is accepting someone’s differences, weaknesses, and shortcomings; having patience with someone who has let us down; or resisting the impulse to become offended when someone doesn’t handle something the way we might have hoped. Charity is refusing to take advantage of another’s weakness and being willing to forgive someone who has hurt us. Charity is expecting the best of each other.” -Marvin J. Ashton, “The Tongue Can be a Sharp Sword”, April 1992 General Conference

Charity is not an action. It is an attitude--a state of heart. Charity is only associated with doing good works because these actions help develop this state of heart. I think that the best way to have charity is to try to see and treat everyone the way our Father in Heaven sees and would treat them. When we "borrow" Heavenly Father's lens our view becomes purer. Seeing people the way Heavenly Father sees them allows us to look past sins, bad habits, annoying tendencies, and other imperfections and allows us to truly love someone.

Some of the most precious experiences I've ever had have come because I felt the love Heavenly Father had for the people I was working with. Feeling the love Heavenly Father has for one of His children will stop every unkind word, reverse every unkind thought, and change every belittling action. It will enable you to unconditionally give them the benefit of the doubt. It will give you the desire to help that person succeed. It will enable you to give them the best. It will help you see Heavenly Father's children as important, smart, talented, and amazing individuals because you come to realize that they really are. The best part of doing all this is that you begin to realize that Heavenly Father loves you just as much too. Doing these things will lead to true happiness.