There were many messages given over the past two days at General Conference that touched my spirit and brought tears to my eyes. One that stands out is Elder Bednar's closing remarks. His remarks about the sacredness and reality of several of the belated apostles' calls resonated with me.
With the recent passing of three apostles and the potential calling of three new ones, I have spent time pondering the past few weeks about the mantle of "apostle" and all that it entails. As members of the church, we raise our hands several times each year to sustain these men as literal messengers from God. When we raise our hand, we testify that we believe they are God's servants and that we will do all we can to support and sustain them.
In that brief moment when we raise our hands, do we ever pause and think on the weight and responsibility that these apostles hold?
This summer, I started reading President Gordon B. Hinckley's biography, "Go Forward With Faith." Because it's such a big book, (but mostly because I haven't dedicated as much time to reading it as I should), I'm still in the middle of reading it. My thoughts so far?
Wow.
What a tireless, humble, hard-working, spiritual giant of a man Gordon B. Hinckley was.
In many ways, he was what one would consider an "ordinary" guy. Like many of us, there was a time in his life when he faced and overcame doubts about the church. Like many of us, he gave-up his dreams when he accepted the call to serve a mission instead of pursing an advanced degree in English. Like many of us, he woke-up at early-hours to begin his day, he worked nearly non-stop on improving his home. he lost his mother to cancer at an early age, and he had to learn how to balance the demands of home, work, and church service. In many ways (and from the book, I take it that his kids would readily agree), he is no different from you and me.
Perhaps, however, what makes President Hinckley different from you and me is his willingness to give absolutely everything to the Lord. As I've read his biography, I've come to realize that his call was not just a matter of being a good example and giving good talks and doing all the "apostle-y" things we see the brethren do. In addition to these already grueling and intimidating tasks, he gave-up sleep (sometimes going
days without sleep), time with family, rest, vocational aspirations, talents, energy, heart, and will beyond anything I've yet been able to muster and manage. I would go into the details, but it would require a book to do his life justice, and Sister Dew has already written one. I have not met the man, nor will I ever in this life, but just by learning more about him, I have come to admire and love him dearly not just for being an apostle and prophet, but for being an incredible man.
Elder Bednar's talk caused me to reflect on my reading of President Hinckely's biography because I know something about Elder Bednar that he did not mention in his talk today. Several years ago, my stake had Elder Bednar visit for stake conference. Among his remarks, he mentioned that there was a time in his life when he determined he wanted to be more like the brethren that he admired and strove to follow. This desire began his road of reading every talk ever given and the biographies written about the three or four apostles which he most greatly admired, Gordon B. Hinckley being one of them. Like me, I'm sure that Elder Bednar came to more greatly love the brethren as he learned about their lives and the sacrifice it requires to hold the title of "apostle." I'm sure that his heightened awareness only added to his sense of inadequacy when he himself received the call to serve among them.
Today as Elder Bednar's voice rang with emotion, speaking of and declaring his love for President Faust, President Hinckley, Elder Wirthlin, President Packer, Elder Perry, and Elder Scott, I also felt strong emotions stir within my breast. I too love these men and feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I ponder upon all they've given to build the Kingdom of God. In addition to those feelings of love and gratitude, as Elder Bednar spoke I felt the Spirit burn within my bosom, testifying to me that not only were these good men who did good things, but that they literally were
called by God and that the work they did literally was--and is--His work.
Amid the confusion I've witnessed at Conference these past two sessions as individuals have raised their hands in opposition to the sustaining of Latter-Day apostles and prophets like these, I declare that I know that the men whose names were read over the pulpit yesterday in Conference are called by God, and that I love, admire, respect, honor, and support them in all they do.
What a tremendous blessing it is to live in a day when God's word can be heard again on the earth through the mouth of His living apostles and prophets. We do not have to pay for it, earn it, or search for it. His word is found a click away on lds.org, a touch away on the LDS library app, or a month away in our mailboxes when the November issue of the Ensign comes out.
With these thoughts in mind, I commit to more diligently studying the words of this October Conference over the next few months. Though I cannot support the men who have been called as apostles by doing their work for them or by serving them face to face, I want my sustaining raise of hand to entail more than just a casual agreement to their divine calling. The best way I can think of doing that is by taking their words to heart and doing my best to be better because of them.
I love my Heavenly Father, and I love the living prophets and apostles. I believe that President Monson is God's servant on the earth today, along with all the men who serve with him. This is why I can sing:
I thank Thee, oh God, for the prophets
Who guide me in these latter-days!
I thank Thee for sending the apostles
I promise I'll never betray!
I thank Thee for for all these men teach me
With their words I know I can withstand.
With desire to support and sustain them
I'll do more than just raise my right hand.
