"I Want to Be a Mother!"

One day when I was in seventh grade, I sat on the curb outside the school waiting for my mom to come pick me up. While I was waiting, one of the school counselors happened to see me and came to join me. He'd talked with me in the past and we knew each other. He seemed to view the "waiting on the curb" moment as a great opportunity to talk a little bit about life, because that's what he started doing.

He asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. This was an easy question for me to answer. Without pause, I replied that I wanted to be a mother. He seemed to laugh to himself and then asked me what I really wanted to be. Slightly infuriated, I responded that I actually really did want to be a mother, but that if he was curious that didn't mean that I wasn't planning on attending college and that I still wasn't sure what I wanted to major in but I had considered teaching and dietetics, thank you very much!

That was me all growing up. Being the strong, religious person that I was, I learned early on that the greatest possible "profession" I could aspire to obtain someday was that of mother. A wonderful stay-at-home mom--along with the feelings in my heart--convinced me that this was true. And just like I said to Mr. 7th Grade Counselor, whenever someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grew-up, my first response was: "A mother!"

How surprising it was, then, when this started to change when I went to college. I went to college at BYU, an institution funded by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (aka: the Mormons). At BYU, people joke about the female population and how they're all really just there to get married (Studio C's music video on the subject is hilarious!) It's a great topic to joke around about, but it's not reality for most girls. Overall, I believe that most girls at BYU place equal value on the acquisition of knowledge as they do on the acqisition of a husband.

Unfortunately, however, during my time there this running joke started to influence me. I didn't want to be seen as the girl who was only there to find a husband. I wanted people to know that I valued my education too. As a result, my answer to the "What do you want to be when you grow-up?" question changed.

"I'm still deciding what to major in," I said my freshman year.

"I'm going to give elementary education a try, but we'll see what happens," I said after that.

"English Education," was my final response. "I'm going to be a teacher."

It is ironic how sometimes, when we live in a culture saturated in what we believe, we start being untrue to ourselves just because we don't want to be defined as a label.

Luckily, I married a man who saw past all my "I don't want to be defined as a label" mumbo jumbo, and five years later--as of one week ago today--I graduated from BYU with both the man and the degree.

I didn't really recognize the shift that had taken place within myself until six months ago when I was called to be my ward's girls camp director. When my bishop extended the call, he made sure I knew that it was against camp rules for pregnant women to attend camp. Though I hadn't really been putting having kids on hold, it wasn't something I was actively pursing at that point and the bishop's words barely made me skip a beat. In fact, I wanted to say yes to the calling right away (I love the youth!), but I felt like my husband and I should talk and pray about it first, so I told the bishop I'd get back to him. I'm so grateful that I did, because even though I accepted the calling in the end, the process of discussing it with my husband, studying the matter, and praying about it reminded me of the conviction and aspirations I had deep inside of me but had lost sight of while at college.

I'm so grateful that the Lord has helped me remember that there is nothing second rate in attending a top-notch university and in wanting to be a mother at the same time. In fact, for women who choose to pursue higher education, it's how He wants it to be.

In this past April General Conference, Sister Oscarson said:

"[W]e need to boldly defend the Lord's revealed doctrines describing marriage, families, the divine roles of men and women, and the importance of homes as sacred places--even when the world is shouting in our ears that these principles are outdated, limiting, or no longer relevant. Everyone, no matter what their marital circumstance...can be defenders of the Lord's plan described in the family proclamation. If it is the Lord's plan, it should also be our plan!" (Defenders of the Family Proclamation)

What a wonderful second reminder her words were to me of who's team I'm on and what I should be standing up for. I want to be a defender of the Lord's plan! I want His plan to be my plan as well.

Today, if someone were to ask me what I want to be when I grow-up, I would proudly respond with: "I want to be a mother!" Because I do. And there's nothing wrong with that.