If I Were to Give a Talk on Agency...

The subject of receiving personal revelation has been on my mind a lot lately. I think it's been on a lot of people's minds lately--especially all my lovely peers who are also having to make many life-altering decisions. In the "decade of decision," we sometimes wish someone would just make all the choices for us. Some of this comes from being indecisive and lazy, but I think that a bigger part of it comes from having a desire to do the right thing. We are good people who want good things and we desire to follow the Lord. We've learned that He has a plan for us--that there's a purpose to our life here on earth--and we want to make sure that we don't make a decision that would lead us off this path or that would make ourselves or those around us unhappy. And so, in an effort to follow the Lord, we seek to know His will--to know what we should do. We read scriptures, we pray, we fast, we go to the temple, we ponder, we discuss things with those who love us, we study our patriarchal blessings, and we search the words of today's living prophets and apostles.

"In other words, I feel like sometimes we
think God hands us a map with only
one possible route highlighted and tells
us that the only way we can make it
to that destination is by following that route."

This is wonderful! This is exactly what we should be doing at this time of life! However, because this process is so hard, sometimes we come to imperfect conclusions. Sometimes--because we want so much to do what's right and want so much for someone to just give us the answer--along the process we think that God tells us that we need to do one specific thing when really, He's just telling us that that one thing wouldn't be a bad thing to do. In other words, sometimes we think God hands us a map with only one possible route highlighted and tells us that the only way we can make it to that destination is by following that route. Really, though, this is hardly the case. There are many different directions and turns that we can take in order to reach our destination--that of eternal life with Him--and rarely does God tell us exactly which turns to take.

Now, of course there are limitations to this metaphor. Christ is the only way back to God. Holding to the iron rod is the only was to reach the tree and receive eternal life. There is right and wrong; there is black and white. If I want to paint my walls white, however, I am not limited to Behr's "White-Int. Flat 1052." Their website has eighty-five different shades of white to pick from! I can choose "Linen White" or "Off White" or "Feather White" or "Mirage White" or "Ultra Pure White" or "Quarts White" or Elegant White" or Cascade White." No matter what I pick, my wall will still be a shade of white. There is no "right" white to pick, it just depends on what I want, what I prefer, what I choose.

In The Doctrine and Covenants the Lord teaches us about this principle. He teaches: 

"For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward. Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. But he that doeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with doubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is damned." (D&C 58:26-29, emphasis added).

Here, the Lord commands us to be agents. Learning how to use agency is, after all, one of the major reasons why we're here on this earth. From His point of view, I'm sure that it is very frustrating when we approach Him and wait for Him to hand us the answers. He knows how hard we fought for agency before we came to this earth, and He doesn't want our fight to have been for nothing. He has also sacrificed greatly to give us the chance to be agents. He knew that it would cost Him a third of His children and the life of His Only Begotten Son if He were to give us agency, and He still gave it to us. It also costs Him the assurity of having the thing which He wants more than anything--us. Because He gave us agency, there's a chance that we might not return back to Him--a very sobering thought for such a loving father. Having sacrificed so much for us to have such a precious gift, He is not going to steal away the opportunities we have here on this earth to use it.

"There are many different directions 

and turns that we can take in order 

to reach our destination--that of 

eternal life with Him--and rarely does 

God tell us exactly which turns to take."

I say all of this in light of an experience I had recently. Several months back, I felt like the Lord was giving me a "this-one-way-and-no-others" set of instructions, that there was one specific thing He wanted me to do, that He was telling which choice to make. I went forward, willing to make the choice I thought He wanted me to. When the time arrived, however, to make the choice, I found that I didn't want to. When I approached the Lord with the matter, I felt like He was fine with me not making the choice I had thought He wanted me to. And so I didn't. I spent a lot of time reflecting on this experience, trying to figure out why there seemed to be a disjuncture between the Lord telling me to do something and then suddenly being fine with me not doing it. I came to the conclusion that the Lord never did tell me that I needed to make this one specific choice. Rather, when the thought to make this choice came into my head, the Lord let me know that He approved of it and that it would be a fine choice for me to make. When the moment came to make the choice and I didn't want to, the Lord wasn't changing His mind about anything--I was.

We do not realize how much the Lord trusts us with our agency and to what a tremendous extent He expects us to use it. When we are seeking answers--especially in this crucial age of decision-making--I think we must realize that the Lord is leaving more up to our choice that we realize. When we are debating over a big decision, rarely is the Lord going to tell us which turns to take. Yes--He picks the destination--but we get to map the course. We get to make the choices. We get to go in the direction that we want. In making big life decisions, it is not our responsibility to receive answers and directions from the Lord; it is our responsibility to make the choices ourselves and to then approach the Lord to make sure that He approves of them.

"I would venture to say that it is because these men were
so good at being proactive and effectively using their agency that
the Lord has been able to use and direct their lives
in such miraculous ways."

I like to look at the lives of the apostles and prophets as an example of this pattern. I highly doubt that, after much scripture study and prayer, they one day woke-up and knew exactly who they were going to marry, what they were supposed to major in, and where the Lord wanted them to spend their every waking hour. It just doesn't work like that. Rather, I imagine that they dedicated lots of time to dating good people, exploring  what career options were attractive to them, and spending their time participating in what activities were good, uplifting, and enjoyable to them. Then, after using their agency to explore their options and to figure out what they wanted in life, they followed the counsel given in D&C 9:7-9 by approaching the Lord and asking Him if He approved of their choices. Then the Lord told them if their decisions were good ones or not. I'm sure that there were many attractive, good, spiritual women that the Lord would have been fine with having them marry, and so He let these men pick the woman that they wanted. I'm sure that there were also many wonderful careers that they could have been successful in and many good ways that they could have dedicated their time, and while the Lord did--I'm sure--direct them in some of this, he also let a lot of it up to them. Our apostles and prophets are shinning examples of decisive people who used their agency to create lives for themselves that made them happy and successful. I would venture to say that it is because these men were so good at being proactive and effectively using their agency that the Lord has been able to use and direct their lives in such miraculous ways.

"He is still with us
every step of the way."

The brother of Jared's story is also an example of the pattern we should follow when seeking help or answers from the Lord. When faced with the problem of how to light their barges, he went to the Lord for the answer. Very lovingly, however, the Lord sent the brother of Jared away, instructing him to find a solution for the problem himself. The brother of Jared could have be very frustrated with the Lord's response. Instead, however, he did as the Lord instructed--came up with a solution for the problem--and then approached the Lord again. The Lord listened to his proposed plan, approved of it, and then helped him carry it out by touching the stones he brought (see Ether 2-3). This story is a wonderful example of how we should exercise our agency to solve the problems set before us. When the Lord instructs us to figuring out things ourselves, He is not implying that He intends to leave us to battle life's challenges alone. Rather, because He desires to help us grow, He tells us to come-up with a game plan which, if He approves of, He will be with us every set of the way in fulfilling. Being an agent does not mean being independent from the Lord. If anything, it means relying on Him even more because we have to trust in the confidence He has in ourselves. He is still with us every step of the way.

May I make a special note for those young women who are considering whether or not they should serve a mission. Since the mission age change in October, I have seen many girls struggle with the decision of whether or not to go on a mission. Many feel pressured to go or like now it's more of an expectation than an option. They spend hours grueling over scripture and patriarchal blessings and praying and fasting, trying to figure out what the Lord wants them to do. To these young women, may I suggest that there may not be an answer to your question of whether or not you should go on a mission. Of course the Lord would love to have you in the field, and of course it is a wonderful and good thing to go, but do not feel like it is something which you have to do. Continue praying and pondering about the option, but do so more with the intention of finding out what you want to do, rather than seeking a direction from the Lord. Then, once you know what you want to do, approach the Lord with your decision and He will either confirm your choice or press you to go in another direction. No matter what, when you faithfully strive to make a good and righteous choice and then approach the Lord with it, He will not let you go astray.

"Most of the time, decisions do 
not come in sets of twos with 
one black one and one white."

When I was talking to my sister Jessica about the subject of agency, she pointed out to me that when we approach the Lord and He tells us that our conclusion is not a right one, that doesn't mean we automatically know what conclusion is the right one. As I have said earlier, decisions do not come in sets of twos with one black and one white. When we discover that the Lord does not approve of our "black" decision we should not automatically assume that this means that there is one matching "white" decision that we should make. Perhaps the Lord knows that we would be happier with a different shade of black, and so He directs us away from "Midnight Black." Perhaps there is not just one opposite white choice we should make, but an entire eighty-five that we could choose from. Or perhaps the Lord knows that, regardless of society's status quo, we would be bored out of our minds with black and white walls and that we need to go with some color. We must remember that "no" to one choice does not necessarily mean a "yes" to another.

Having said all that I have said up to this point, I should acknowledge that there are going to be times when the Lord will direct us to do one specific thing and no other. There are going to be times when He tells us that we must build an arc right now because He knows that the floods are coming, and there are going to be times when He directs us to visit a certain friend right now because He knows that they are in dire need. In most cases, however, I believe that the Lord trusts us enough with our agency to determine what road stops we want to make along the way on our road trip back home.

Although the weight of agency may seem intimidating and scary, we should be excited about it! Especially for those of you who are, like me, in the "decade of decision," the pathway of possibilities before us is expansive. I hope that we can take advantage of this time to show the Lord that we are willing and ready to be anxiously engaged in a good cause, so much so that we get on our feet to find and create those causes ourselves. Let us not waste our time waiting for an answer to come when we could be actively working to create the answers ourselves. The Lord's strength and direction will be with us through it all, and it will come in an even greater amount when we prove to Him that we are capable of taking action and doing good with that which He has already given us. Do not let the fear of hard work, new opportunities, or challenging circumstances paralyze you from moving forward and creating a bright future for yourself. As Mr. Magorium says in one of my favorite movies: "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." The potential is within you, you just have to reach within yourself, harness it and then use it to take flight.

"May we, in our trip through life,
have the bravery, self-confidence,
and conviction to map out our own course,
rather than waiting for the
Lord to command us in all things.'"

Agency is a gift given to us from God. It is a gift that cost Him the security of having us always at His side. It is a gift that cost Him the life of His Only Begotten Son. And yet, He trusts us with it and knows that we can use it to return to Him. You and I have also fought and sacrificed for this gift so that we could have a chance to prove ourselves to Him and one day return to His side happier than we could have ever been otherwise. I hope that we would not put off the goal of someday becoming like God, but that we would start becoming more like God today by taking advantage of the opportunity we have to make choices and forge the way for ourselves. I know that we will be happier when we do so because it will give us the opportunity to glimpse at our potential and know that we can do that which is required of us. Exercising our agency will also bring us closer to God because in becoming more like Him, we naturally grow closer to Him. May we, in our trip through life, have the bravery, self-confidence, and conviction to map out our own course, rather than waiting for the Lord to "command us in all things." Doing so will not only make the trip more enjoyable and empowering, it will make it a little more, in the here and now, like the Heaven we wish to reach in the end.