Sundance Concert and Hiking Date with Jon

The past couple of days have been absolutely wonderful, last night in particular. After working, running, going to the temple, and talking to my sister Kate on the phone; Jon and I went on a date! For the first part of the date we went on a short hike along a trail past Vivian Park and Big Springs. I love being outside in the woods! That's what we talked about for about half the hike--about how we're excited to run off on camping adventures on the weekends when we're married and about how excited we are to take our kids camping when the time for that finally comes. We ate dinner at our destination and then jaunted back to the car. From there we went to Sundance to listen to the Utah Symphony play at the outdoor theater there. After approximately five minutes at the concert, I came to a conclusion:

ALL CONCERTS SHOULD BE PERFORMED OUTSIDE UP IN THE MOUNTAINS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BEAUTIFUL WOODS.

Especially if it's the Utah Symphony and they're playing "America the Beautiful" and the spacious skies and mountains majesties are literally right in front of you and the love of your life is laying down on the blanket next to you and you're just sitting there, taking it all in, and thinking about how much the Creator loves us to have made us such a beautiful earth. I usually fall asleep at symphony concerts because of the uncomfortable chairs and the dim lights, but when it's outdoors on the grass in the middle of the woods, it's the most relaxing, comforting, soothing, enjoyable thing ever.

At one point during the night, my eye caught sight of one of the huge cabins nestled among the trees on the hillside and I started thinking about how neat it would be to be a movie star or some rich person so that I could easily go visit beautiful places like that. "But I don't need a huge cabin," I thought. "I can go off and enjoy places like this with just me and my little self."

I paused for about five seconds as the play in my words struck me. I had meant that I didn't need anything else but myself to enjoy beautiful places like those woods. I realized, though, that I wouldn't be traveling through life enjoying them by myself, but with My Self--with Jon Self. This thought immediately brought a smile to my face and I felt so grateful that I won't be enjoying life's beauties and weathering life's storms through life alone. Mr. Self will be there with me through it all--to share the good and the bad, no rich person cabin necessary.

I love outdoor concerts. I love cool last names. I love awesome dates with Jon.

Kids are Awesome

Today I was walking along the sidewalk at work towards a patch of weeds that I was attending to. The weather was beautiful: sun shinning, birds chirping, green plants all around--just great. As I was walking to my patch of weeds, a mom and her kids walked pass me. One of the girls, about age 6, was whistling. When she saw me, she looked up, smiled, and emphatically stated: "I can talk to birds!"

And then they were gone, except I was the one smiling now. Kids are just awesome, aren't they?

Utah Lake Biking Adventure

Yesterday evening Jon and I rode our bikes down to Utah Lake. It wonderful fun! When we got there, we laid out a blanket and each ate a half of a mini watermelon. Then, we decided to go out near the water’s edge so that we could walk along the shore and play in the water.

Well. Apparently Utah Lake has no such thing as a solid, sandy beach. Welcome to suddenly getting stuck in mud as the water’s edge laughs at you 10 feet away. We tried to retreat, but the mud sucked our shoes down a foot into the ground. So then we worked on ungluing our shoes. By this point, we were both barefoot, muddy shoes in hand, and stuck between the water’s edge and solid ground. Figuring that we’d make it all worth it, we left our shoes behind and braved the last 10 feet to the water’s edge. The mud was up to our knees! But it was so fun.

Knee deep in mud, stuck out near the water’s edge, holding hands with Jon—it was one of the most fun sunsets I’ve ever had. 

On Missing the Party and Showing up Late

Jon was late. Again.

Today it went like this:

I was planning on him being at my place around 5:20 for dinner so that we could make it to our interview with the bishop at 5:50 (he likes to meet with us regularly because we're getting hitched soon!) I called Jon at 4:50 to see if he could come over a little earlier so that we would have enough time. He informed me that he was still at work and wouldn't be able to make it 'till 5:20. No problem. I text him at 5:15, reminding him to bring rice. He replies with a phone call, informing me that I should probably just go ahead and eat because he wasn't going to make it until right before the interview.

This is the second time something like this has happened in four days. Before that it was Saturday. We were supposed to go to my cousin's baby's birthday party up in Lyndon. The party started at 5, but it's an hour and a half long drive, so we were planning on leaving at 4. I called him around 3:40, telling him that I was going to be a little late because I'd just finished my run and needed to get ready. He hesitated, and then admitted that he wouldn't be ready at 4 either...would 5 be okay? If we left at 5 we'd be pretty late, but we would still make it in time to have some fun! Come 4:45, though, Jon called me to tell me that he wasn't going to be able to make it to the birthday party at all.

Irritated. Frustrated. Annoyed. These were all emotions that I was tempted to feel in each of these occasions. Jon is ruining your plans, a voice in my mind said. And for a split moment I considered listening to that voice.

I was surprised both times, though, when I realized that I really wasn't feeling irritated, frustrated, or annoyed. In fact, I was feeling the opposite! Grateful, happy, supportive, loving--these were the emotions filling my heart. Why? Because in these moments, I realized that Jon was proving himself to be the man I have always wanted to marry.

Jon did not prevent us from going to the birthday party because he was finishing watching a football game or because he was glued to a TV screen. He was late because he was helping a man, who had recently sustained some back injuries, with his yard work. Yes, it was paid, but Jon didn't want to run off, leaving the rest of the work for the owner to do by himself. And so he stayed. Two-and-a-half hours longer than he'd been planning on so that he could serve someone in need.

Jon did not postpone having dinner with me because he was finishing up something he'd procrastinated on or because he was trying to check things off an all-important to-do list. No. He was late because right as he was leaving work, a boy trying to get to University Mall for work asked him for a ride. Of course Jon said yes, even though he'd already worked an extra hour-and-a-half past when he was supposed to be off and was cold from having worked out in the rain and was hungry and had an appointment with my bishop and I in less than an hour. He made the time to help the guy out.

I would not have it any other way. Jon is proving himself to be a man who always puts the Lord's errand first, who is always willing to help and serve, even when it's inconvenient, and I feel extremely blessed that I get to be the woman who supports him in his efforts. We missed the birthday party and were 10 minutes late to the appointment with the bishop. So what? President Monson, the worldwide prophet and leader of the LDS church, has shown up late to General Conference and other important meetings because he was serving someone in need. I figure that if the prophet of a worldwide church can show up late to a meeting that is being broadcast around the globe because he was serving the one, that Jon and I can be late to a meeting with the bishop because he is serving the one too.

So, does this mean that in a little over a month, when I marry Jon, I'll be committing myself to an eternity of missing parties, of showing up late to meetings, and of things not going according to my picture perfect plan? Possibly. But if it is for the right reasons, then that is exactly what I want. Because the best of life is not made up of parties or meetings or picture perfect plans. The best of life consists of helping those around us like the Savior would and of answering the call when He extends it.

Thank you, Jon, for making us miss the party; thank you, Jon, for making us late.

A Load of Laundry

Once upon a time I forgot my laundry in the dryer and, being away from home, asked my roommate--Emily--if she wouldn't mind grabbing it and taking it up to my room for me. When I came home, I found this on my bed:

It was all folded!!!

Just 10 minutes of her day made me feel 10 times more special and awesome and grateful to live with such an amazing person than I would have otherwise. It really is the small and simple things we do to serve those around us every single day that make us happier, make others happier, and make the world a happier place. Just think of how much happier and more grateful the world would be if we all took an extra 10 minutes tomorrow to make someone's day like Emily made mine on Saturday.

Just a thought.

“It is vital that we serve each other in the kingdom. … So often, our acts of service consist of simple encouragement or of giving … help with mundane tasks, but what glorious consequences can flow … from small but deliberate deeds!” –President Spencer W. Kimball, “Small Acts of Service”

The Fred and George Approach

I've been listening to "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" this past week at work. The scene wherein they visit Fred and George's joke shop for the first time made me laugh. In huge, bright letters hanging in their front window is a sign that says:

"WHY ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT 

YOU-KNOW-WHO? 

YOU SHOULD BE WORRYING ABOUT 

U-NO-POO--

THE CONSTIPATION SENSATION THAT'S GRIPPING THE NATION!"

I love Fred and George. They know how to not take life too seriously, and that a laugh fixes many sticky situations.

This past year has been a trying, stretching, growing one. I was faced with the decision of whether or not to marry Jon--the biggest choice I've had to make in my life! Consequently, there were many periods of serious consideration and reflection. When things got stressful, though, and answers weren't easy to come by, anxiety and worry seemed to overtake my life. I seemed unable to find any sense of peace of sanity because I was constantly plagued with the idea of having to make this life-altering choice. Looking back, I realize that I worried and thought too much. Yes--it was stressful when the answer didn't come immediately, (a whole nother story for another day) but I believe that stressing and worrying just delayed them even more. The Spirit wasn't able to speak to me and I wasn't able to find any clear path because my brain was just so muddled with anxious thoughts. If I were to do it again, I would take more time to slow down, set decision aside at times, and just have fun. I believe that doing so would have given my poor brain the rest and rejuvenation it needed, and I would have been able to come to a conclusion sooner.

Lately, I've been trying to live life with a more Fred and George approach. I work hard and make to-do lists and think of serving others and preparing to be a teacher and finalize wedding plans, but I also try to stay more aware of my stress level and sometimes just put everything aside to merely go have some fun. To play. To laugh. To enjoy life. Life is a serious matter, but that does not mean that we have to always be serious minded. Sometimes it's better to laugh.

Give the Benefit of the Doubt

Today while I was picking weeds along Center Street in Provo at work, I listened to President Utchdorf's talk, "Your Wonderful Journey Home." This part in particular stood out to me:

"Now, take a moment right now and look at the people around you. Some may be your leaders, friends, or family members. Others you may have never met before. Nevertheless, everyone you see around you—in this meeting or at any other place, today or at any other time—was valiant in the premortal world. That unassuming and ordinary-looking person sitting next to you may have been one of the great figures you loved and admired in the sphere of spirits. You may have been such a role model yourself!

Of one thing you can be certain: every person you see—no matter the race, religion, political beliefs, body type, or appearance—is family. The young woman you look at has the same Heavenly Father as you, and she left His loving presence just as you did, eager to come to this earth and live so that she could one day return to Him…

…Life can be difficult, and it can harden hearts to the point where certain people seem unreachable. Some may be filled with anger. Others may mock and ridicule those who believe in a loving God. But consider this: though they do not remember, they too at one time yearned to return to their Father in Heaven."

As I listened to President Utchdorf's words, I did as he instructed and looked up at the people around me. Many of these people were seemingly ordinary, people who were on their lunch break or on their way to a meeting for work. But as I thought more about it, I considered the people who are often found on other blocks along Center Street, those who seemingly camp out in front of the tobacco store and bars. These people are often dirty, unkempt, their hair is long and unwashed, their bodies are shriveling away from lack of nutrition and their hands shake because the addictions in their life are so consuming that they can't hold still. Sometimes they sing random made-up songs that don't make sense to random citizens on the street; other times they talk to people who aren't even there. As I thought of these people in the context of President Utchdorf's words, my heart ached with compassion and love for these people. These too are my family. Even though they have now taken paths that have lead them down dark and lonely roads, they too were faithful in the life before this one. 

This experience, coupled with some of the thoughts I have had over the past several days, convince me that we would all do a little better to give one another more of the benefit of the doubt. It is so tempting to judge the addicted beggar on the street, but we would be much happier if we extended a hand of love and encouragement instead. It is easy to judge someone who is in a bad temper, but if we  merely assume that they are just having a bad day, we will walk away feeling charity for that individual rather than contempt. 

I know that the happiest people in the world are not those who walk around assuming the worst, blaming others, and sticking up their noses. The happiest people in the world are those who live with a spirit of kindness and love continually in their hearts. Not only do these people help those who's lives they touch, they help themselves. Why? Because those who act as Christ did and would come to know Him. That is happiness.

Sending Emily Off On Her Mission

Right before I dropped Ems off at the MTC!

Today I had the super huge blessing of dropping off my sister, Emily, at the MTC. It was good. So good. Her plane landed around 9 and I picked her up at 9:15, giving us about four hours before she had to be dropped off at 1:30. After driving back to Provo, we picked up Jon and went over to Kneaders to get some of their endless French toast! Then we dropped off Jon, went to my place for a bit, did some running around so that Ems could pick up some last minute things, then went to the temple parking lot to just talk and wait before I had to drop her off.

Things between Emily and I have been a little crazy over the past two years. Two years ago she was trying to figure out college while I was trying to figure out how to be a Relief Society president. Then the next year I was trying to figure out how to be in a relationship while Ems tried to figure out classes, jobs, and mission plans.

This past Sunday the two of us finally talked about it all. We both admitted that we were sad at how far apart the two of us have grown over the past two years. As Ems put it: “We were living together, but not being sisters.” But as we continued talking over things, the mood improved drastically. We were able to say: “I’m sorry,” and “How stupid of me,” and “Will you forgive me?” and “I love you.” It was one of the best conversations I’ve ever had in my life. It’s hard to ask for forgiveness and to admit that you might have done someone harm, but it’s so good to let the Atonement work between you and that person, healing you both.

When I dropped her off, there was nothing bitter or to regret. I was jealous of her for a moment as the sweet spirit of the MTC touched my heart and I thought how cool it would be if I were being dropped off here—a place full of people who love the Lord and are preparing together to dedicate over a year of their life to serving Him full-time. But as I gave her a hug and watched her walk away with a sweet Polynesian sister (“What’s your name?” and “Where are you serving?” she asked Emily) the Holy Ghost confirmed to me that everything was just as it should be. Though Emily is preparing in the MTC by learning Norwegian and studying “Preach My Gospel” and creating talks, and I’m preparing in my little house by reading my scriptures and searching for an apartment and spending time with Jon, we are together in both preparing for the biggest adventure life has had to offer either of us up to this point. She just happens to be doing hers wearing a nametag on her chest while I happen to be starting mine wearing a white dress. I hope that the two of us will learn to really lean on each other during what will be a new, exciting, terrifying, adventurous, wonderful, purifying, and happy next year and a half. Yes—God really is in the details of our lives.