Amelia Hope Theobald

Pretty much I'm missing this girl:

 today like absolute crazy.

I'm just sitting here thinking to myself:

"Oh my gosh so much new and crazy stuff is going on in my life right now and I'm stuck between being super excited and freaked out of my mind and I really just want someone to talk to about it all who I know would totally listen to me gab on for hours and understand and know exactly what to say and what not to say and would be okay with me crying or laughing like a crazy person or being frustrated with myself and still love me and want to be with me and go and be awesome with me at the end of it all!"

And then I realize that what I really mean when I'm thinking all of this is:

"What I really want right now is Amelia."

And then it really isn't fun because she's halfway around the world right now which is totally awesome because she's where she needs to be serving a mission for the Lord but that means I can't just pick-up the phone and talk to her about all the craziness and that instead I have to write her a letter that takes 7 days to get to her. And goodness, I didn't realize how super much I really felt all of this until I started typing it up just now while I'm sitting at work and started fighting against the tears because I miss my best friend so bad. So. Yeah.

In other words, what I really mean to be saying right now is that I'm so thankful that Heavenly Father has blessed me with people incredible enough in my life (AMELIA) that I could miss them (HER) so incredibly much when they're (SHE'S) gone. I mean, I just spent nearly half-an-hour looking through all her facebook photos because I just missed looking at her face so darn much. I never look though people's facebook photos!

But really. Amelia Hope Theobald is one of the best people I have ever known and associated with. More than almost anyone in the whole world, she has loved and listened to and understood me better than anyone else. We definitely had our hard times, but all the profoundly good times that we had more than far outweigh the bad.

Amelia was someone that I could be my complete self with. I had to worry not a single wit when I was with her because I knew that she loved and accepted me no matter what. We could do crazy stuff together--like stay up till 2am making cupcakes or act like little kids or talk about boys or try to go workout at 6am in the morning or build awesome forts, and at the end of it all, she still thought I was a semi-sane person. I loved having that freedom of self.

Amelia was an amazing example to me of service--of making baked goods and always giving them away to people or of cleaning the apartment when she noticed I was stressed because she knew that would make it better or of taking time to talk to someone who needed a friend or of working so hard to make sure that everyone else was taken care of and having a good time before worrying about herself.

Amelia also stuck with me through the bad. She dealt with me when I was cranky and she would listen to me and love me when I needed to talk and cry or she would help me be happy when I was stressed and when I was Relief Society president she always asked if there was more that she could do to help me.

Amelia always follows the Lord and wants to do what is right. I know that my association with her drew me closer to Christ because she was always striving to follow and love Him. The decision to go on a mission was tough for her to make, but ultimately she chose to do it because her love for the Lord and His children is just that incredibly great. She always has the Spirit with her. She is always striving to be good. She is always an example of Christ.

I've managed to get the rant out of my system and hold back (mostly) the tears that were threatening to come. I just hope that halfway across the world right now in the Spain MTC, there's a sister missionary there who knows that she is loved and that she has a best friend back at home who's missing her like crazy. She has made an incredible impact and difference in my life, and I know that that's exactly what she's going to do for the people over there. They don't know how lucky they are.

Tough Love

"I remember vividly the dreadful circumstance into which a young lady had managed to fall several years ago. She was not a BYU student but was a Latter-day Saint, and yet her very life seemed to be disintegrating before our eyes. As a result of trying to play with the net down, trying to live without rules and without restraint, she was experiencing the moral and spiritual stupefaction of a broken marriage, illicit moral behavior, dark drug abuse, and finally physical violence. She was descending into a personal hell from which no one seemed to be able to retrieve her and from which she personally did not have the wish or the will to turn away.

Her mother and others who had great concern for her had been in contact with me. Her Church leaders had tried to help. All seemed to no avail. The weeks became months, and human life unraveled before our eyes.

Then something happened. A lifelong friend of this young woman contacted her and tried, with love, to open her eyes and touch her heart. When neither her eyes nor her heart seemed to be yielding, this friend, this sister in the family of God who understood Paul's reminder that when one member suffers all suffer with it, grabbed the lapels of her friend's heavy winter coat and shook it with all her might. She shook her with all the strength her 105 pounds could muster, and, sobbing, she said through her tears, "Look at yourself. Don't you see what you are becoming? Look at yourself! I can't stand it anymore. I love you, and you're breaking my heart." At that she let go of the lapels of the big heavy coat and with tears streaming from her eyes turned and ran away.

The young lady whose life was in such jeopardy later recalled for me her response to that encounter. She said, "I don't know exactly what happened in that moment. Perhaps I am not likely ever to know. I had been talked to by many people, and little of it had meant anything to me. But if I live to be a hundred, I will never forget what I saw with my eyes and heard with my ears as this my childhood friend looked at me with utter anguish and screamed into my soul, "I love you, and you are breaking my heart."

Today that girl is the beautiful, happy, safe, and productive young woman which she once had been and which surely God meant her to be. She has been remarkably successful in a graduate program at a very good university. She is fully active in the Church, and she is devoted to a life of responsibility and respectability—all because someone in her own way said at the right time and with the right intent that whatever disappointments there had been, these two were forever sisters and disciples of Christ. That stunning declaration not only changed a life, but it quite literally saved this one. We need such brothers and sisters nearby us."  -Jeffry R. Holland, The Demands of Discipleship

I have been thinking a lot lately about the different ways that we try to help those around us who are struggling. I have come to the conclusion that there are two main ways to approach help people: coddling and tough love. Often, because we don't want to hurt people, because we want them to like us and to not think we are attacking them, or because we're afraid of losing their friendship, we coddle. In many cases, however, I have noticed that while coddling is great at first, what lots of people need is a wake-up call. They don't need someone who will sit and dwell over all their problems with them all day long, they need someone who will tell them to knock it off and help them to fix their problems. Of course, it should be done with love. Of course we should try to understand and sympathize. But I believe that sometimes the best way to show that we love is to expect the best of our friends and to let them know when they're falling. Then, once they come to themselves, we can do everything within our power to lift them back up. Yes--I'm a firm believer in tough love.

My First Crush

When I was in third grade, I sat across from none other than the one and only Jared Vestal. He was super silly, sporty, and fun to be with. Halfway through the year, I also discovered that he was Mormon. From that point on, I officially had a crush on him. Naturally. We were pretty much destined for each other (how on earth could we not be?!!)

He was the reason that I got pulled out of class twice that year and had a talk with the teacher for being disruptive (the only two times a teacher has ever pulled me out to reprimand me!) He always invited me to play kickball with him and he always picked me for his team. I'm sure he even let me sit next to him at the lunch table, though I don't really remember. Obviously, we were a really serious item. 

Sadly, at the end of that year, his family decided to move. Our obvisoulymeanttobe relationship was being cut-off. Obliterated. Ended. The last time I saw him was at his house two days after school got out and he had a huge goodbye/birthday party. All I remember is a huge water fight and lots of boys. I felt pretty proud of the fact that I was one of only three girls that got invited. 

I was able to put Jared behind me. I was able to move on. But today, when I was looking-up random journal prompts to find something to write about, it made me think of Jared again and the very special and touching i'llpickyouformykickballteam relationship we had. Out of curiosity, I tried finding him on facebook (I know--creeper, right? But don't judge--you know you've done the same!) Lo and behold--I found him! It was the weirdest facebook creeper/stocker moment of my facebook creeper/stocker career (which I promise you, isn't that flourished of a career). He's on a mission right now in Guatemala, and he happens to be coming home from the MTC tomorrow--May 30th! Maybe I should be waiting in the airport for him with a big sign and a bouquet of flowers? 

Let's not even go into how big of an ohheavenspleaseno/i'mshudderingatthethought/ewe!!! idea that was, plus the few, minor (blaring) details that would make the whole thing extremely complicated. No, I think that dear Jared Vestal is cemented far back into the drawer of my 3rd grade memories, and that that is where he will be staying. 

My Life the Past Several Weeks in Pictures

Ems and I have been having dinner together twice a week. This was a DELICIOUS dish she made--pasta, sauce, tomatoes, spinach....pretty much amazing!

Eric, Jared and I drove down to Pocatello, Idaho the weekend of May 18th&19th for Ellen Lewis' farewell talk. She's headed off to North Carolina! We drove through a crazy storm on our way up, but even that was fun! Besides hanging out with Eric and Jared I got to spend the night at Aunt Christy's place! Ethan, Clancy and I watched "The Gods Must Be Crazy." It was so good to see them. I'm so grateful that Eric and Jared were kind enough to let me join them in this wonderful adventure.

Several weeks ago, Jon got to go to his boss' place and killed a chicken! On Sunday night, after I got back from Pocatello, we grilled it on the BBQ. It was tough meat, but super duper yummy! Scott and Stephen joined us too.

This past Tuesday, May 21st, my friend Steve and I went hiking. After driving around for a while, finding a place, we settled on hiking Stewart Falls. We got there at twilight and made it back to the car just as the darkness was settling in. It was beautiful!

Today, Jon and I woke-up super early to go hiking. We got on the trail around 7:30am and made it back to the truck around 3:30 (that's eight hours!!!) It was a pretty intense hike--steep trails and lots of snow (sometimes deeper than our knees)--but it was SO beautiful. Now, we're both extremely tired, though. We'll definitely have no problem falling asleep tonight.

When we got home, Jon and I quickly pulled out some hamburgers and hot dogs and hosted a Memorial Day BBQ! It was wonderful to spend time with ward members and friends and to eat yummy food.

In a nutshell: my life is crazily blessed right now. I have no doubt that Heavenly Father is looking out for and taking care of my every need. Just when things seemed to be getting pretty bleak, He sent amazing, supportive, loving, good people into my life, and they have made all the difference. To them, and to Him, I am forever grateful.