Doing Less

I love accomplishing things. For me, the perfect day includes waking up early, studying my scriptures, exercising, showering, eating breakfast, and cleaning the house all before 8:30. And that's just the beginning. There's so many other good things I would love to be filling my days with! Visiting the lonely, calling family, organizing the house, writing something meaningful, family history work, making a note to leave in my husband's lunch, preparing dinner, and my list goes on.

When I first had Phoebe I realized that I was going to have to scale down my daily list, and so I did. I could manage taking care of a baby and accomplishing just one or two things a day, I told myself, and I did. But as the days and weeks melted by, I began to realize something...

I was still doing too much! Yes, I could manage waking up early and getting my few things done amid taking care of a newborn and taking care of the rest of life, but it exhausted me! I was doing a lot of doing, but I couldn't enjoy it. My brain was too fuzzy and my limbs too weak to feel any of the joy that I know is associated with motherhood. 

So this week I've slowed down. It's been a challenge. There's a part of me--a big part of me--that says to myself: it's 8:30 and you're just now waking up?!!! Just think of all the productive things you could have gotten done by now! But I'm learning to talk back to that part of me and to say: "Cool it. It's okay. Yes, it's 8:30 and I haven't studied my scriptures, exercied, showered, eaten breakfast, or cleaned the house yet. So what?" Because there are more important things in life than being "productive." There are more important things in life than checking items off a to-do list. 

A prophet of the Lord put it best when he said: "No success can compensate for failure in the home." Raising Phoebe is one thing I definitely don't want to be too tired to enjoy, and it's definitely something I don't want to fail at. So now I'm a new me: no longer the woman who's ready to take on the world by 8:30, but the woman who's just waking up at 8:30 so that I can enjoy holding the world in my arms.