The Story of Jon and Lindsey: Our First Date

Who knows if Jon and I would have ever ended up together if Rylin Patterson and I hadn't become friends. Winter of 2013 was a hard one for me. I felt like I was failing at everything: failing at being relief society president, failing at being a good roommate, failing at being a good older sister, failing at becoming an English teacher, failing at living healthily, failing at being a good friend, and any other failing out there--I was doing it. I was feeling pretty down and sorry for myself, and for some reason--after a random night of going to see "Wreck It Ralph" at the dollar theater with a group of people in the ward--Rylin decided to be my friend. It was random, and I was a bit confused about who the heck this short and often weird guy was, but I wasn't complaining because suddenly I felt like I had a friend.

One night I was at his house and we started talking about all the awesome things we wanted to do that summer and decided that we should make a summer bucket list. So we did. We had something like 50 items and he titled the top of the page: "The Most Awesome Summer Ever" or something like that. After finals week ended, Rylin and I were sitting down, looking over our list, and trying to figure out how to start off our summer (though technically I guess it was still spring). Earlier, I had admitted that I thought I needed to start going on more dates than I had lately and he was all over the idea of doing a double, so we decided to mark off our Hike the Y and Watch a Sunset goals and to make it a double all in one whammy the following Saturday. Rylin was anxious and excited because he already knew who he wanted to ask. I, however, had no clue who I was going to ask, but figured that with all the new people moving into the apartment complex for summer term, that I could find someone.

I don't remember most of the details from the beginning of the next week, but I do remember that Rylin pestered me just about every single day to see if I'd gotten a date yet--because he had!--and I just had to keep telling him that: "No, Rylin, I haven't. But I'm trying!" Which was true. There was a new guy in the ward that I had thought about asking, and had maybe even tried asking...but due to some circumstances, it just wasn't working.

Wednesday evening came and I still didn't have a date. The time to ask was escaping me, and I still had no clue who to pop the question to. It wasn't that I was afraid to ask a guy out (been there, done that), it was just that I sincerely had started to lose interest in dating and if I was going to go to the effort of asking someone I wanted it to be at least a semi-successful evening.

Enter Jon Paul Self:

-'Bout 6 feet tall
-Lean
-Dirty blonde hair
-Brown/green eyes
-Horribly handsome
-Ubber righteous
-Avid BYU fan
-Frequent ESPN stocker
-Lover of watermelon and doughnuts
-Professional napper
-That guy who likes to make jokes in his prayers
-The man of my dreams

You know the guy.

But I didn't. In fact, I had barely figured out his name. Jon belonged in this conglomeration of roommates that were super close and ran around together having fun all the time. I knew all of their names: Joseph, Eric, Kelly, Kyle, Alex, and Jon...I just didn't exactly know which name went with which face. Except Joseph. I knew him. There were so many times over the past year, since Jon had been in the ward, that I would see him on campus and call him the wrong name. Our gym schedules seemed to be the same, so it usually happened there.

"Hi Eric!"

"Actually, it's Jon."

"Oh. Yeah. Well, hope you're workout's treatin' you great! See ya later!"

Super romantic, right?

As I was saying--Enter the horribly handsome Jon Paul Self: dressed in a white shirt and tie, coming from the parking lot and happening to pass by where I was sitting on a bench, on his way to his apartment.

I thought I'd be friendly.

"Hello, Jon!" I called.

He paused at the sound of my voice and looked up. "Hi, Lindsey." He came over to where I was sitting.

"You look mighty nice," I commented. "Where you coming from?"

"I just came back from the temple."

This was the point where my conscience tugged at me and I remembered that in addition to working on my dating life, I was also trying to work on going to the temple more. So far, I'd gone approximately zero times. My excuse? I didn't have a car, and had been too lazy to walk the mile and a half there thus far.

"The temple?" I repeated. "That's cool! I've been wanting to go to the temple sometime soon, but I don't have a car and haven't been able to find a ride." I forgot to mention the part about me being lazy.

"I'm going again tomorrow and wouldn't mind giving you a ride."

In the excitement of a prospective ride, my mind totally skipped over the oddity of him going to the temple two days in a row and I cheerfully responded with: "A ride would be awesome!"

(The reason Jon was going to the temple two days in a row was because he was just coming from having an interview with the temple president to help with the work that goes on there. He was planning on attending the following day to attend for himself.)

"Okay," he replied. "What time works for you?"

"I get off work at 5...Would 6 be okay?"

"Sure."

And then as he was walking away I remember thinking to myself: Self: this kid doesn't seem like that bad of a guy. Maybe tomorrow when he gives you a ride to the temple, you could see if he's free to go on a date this Saturday at 7:30pm. 

And that's what I did.

And he said that he was free.

And I could finally ward off Rylin's: "Have you gotten a date yet?" with a: "Why yes, Rylin. I have."

But let's be honest here: I wasn't expecting much. I mean, sure Jon was horribly handsome and pleasant to talk to, but he and I had been going to church in the same ward for the past eight months--most of the time with me not even remembering his name--and nothing had happened. Nothing was going to happen. I wasn't even terribly excited for the date.

Saturday, May 4th, 2013 came waltzing around and I found myself sitting in Rylin's kitchen talking with him at 5pm, about two-and-a-half hours before the date. I don't remember what we were talking about but I do remember that Adam Beus--a friend in the ward--dropped by to talk because he was going to join us with a girl at the date too.

"Who are you going with?" he asked me.

I told him "Jon," and his reaction was so strong and immediate that it caught me off guard.

"I approve!" he exclaimed. "Jon is a really good man."

Three hours later, I didn't need Adam telling me that Jon was a really good guy. Two-and-a-half hours later, however, the date had yet to begin and I was not feeling too pumped. I distinctly remember not wanting to go on the date because I was in the middle of having a really good conversation with my friend wherein I was trying to figure-out the woes and troubles associated with thinking that you're failing at everything in life, and the date was interrupting it.

But I hauled myself away and picked Jon up at his place. We met up with Rylin, Adam, and their dates, crammed into Rylin's car (there might not have been enough seat belts...good thing Jon's bum is small!) and made it up to the start of the Y trail head.

And so we started hiking.

And started talking.

And I accidentally started falling for the 6 foot tall, blonde hair, brown/green eyes man whom I'd been calling the wrong name for the past eight months.

No big deal.

Legit picture of Jon and I on our first date sitting at the top of the Y!

I just remember loving the way I felt with Jon. As previously mentioned, I'd had a hard winter. I was feeling down and as a result, had turned into this somewhat fake person in order to feel like I could make myself fit with people without letting them see the mess that was inside. But with Jon, I felt like my old self again. I felt calm and understood. Above all: I felt the Spirit, and it felt awesome. After the first ten minutes, Jon stopped and apologized for talking too much about church stuff and said that his friends always teased him for making everything about church. I picked my jaw off the ground and reattached it to my skull so that I could say that my friends also teased me for making everything about church and that I didn't mind it one little bit and that he definitely shouldn't be apologizing. I remember talking that whole entire date and not once feeling like we struggled to have something to say and that it was just so easy to be with him. We had so much in common and just kept saying: "Me too!" 

The date came to an end and we got back into the car with everyone else. On the drive down, we started talking with the other couples again (everyone had paired off while on the mountain). As we drove, I frowned as I paused and considered the words coming out of my mouth. Back with everyone else, I was being that fake version of myself again. It was such a stark contrast to the way I felt for the two hours just Jon and I had talked. I didn't like it. I wanted what I had when I was with just Jon back. I wanted to be a better person.

I didn't admit it then--even to myself--that I liked him, but deep down I knew I did. I tried to attribute it all to feeling like I once again had hope with my dating life. But within the following weeks--after coming up with reasons for him to take me to the store and to go to the baseball game with him and to talk with him at treat night and to coincidentally be wherever he also happened to be--it was very obvious that all hopes in regard to my dating life were targeted very pointedly at one man, and that I was trying very hard not to hope too much for a bulls eye for fear that I might miss.

Luckily, Jon asked me on a second date.