"You-Isms"

I've said it before--we are more than a little torn that Phoebe will be losing her cleft lip this Tuesday. Yes, come school time it won't be exactly "cool" to be walking around with a cleft, but we've grown very fond of it over the past eight months and part of us is sad to see it go. Things like seeing her projectile food out of that gap in her lip line are rather enduring.

I think that Heavenly Father feels the same way about us and our quirks and imperfections. While His ultimate goal is to help us become perfect, I think that in the meantime, these imperfections make Him smile. I'm not talking about our sins--God is sorrowful when we choose to break His commandments. What I'm talking about are those little tendencies and trademarks that make all of us each a you. Those little "you-isms"--those things make Him smile.

Things like having a cow lick on the front edge of your hairline or talking too fast when you get nervous. Things like being so clumsy you've considered walking around wearing bubble tape or being so tone deaf that you sound worse than nails on a chalkboard. Things like being such a bad cook, you can't even get rice down, or that the Pintrest projects you attempt look more fitted for a kindergarten classroom than a Martha Stewart magazine--all of these things, all of these innocent little imperfections, make Him smile.

So while we hope that these things which make us less than perfect will go away someday, let us not be too hard on ourselves while we live with them in mortality. Just like Phoebe's little cleft lip makes Jon and me smile, each of our "you-isms" make God smile, and with how things in the world are going, He needs something to smile about.

Lunches with Friends

I have had AWESOME lunches these past two weeks. Not because of the food (though there was a lot of good food!), but because of the people I've been blessed to eat with. 

Last week on Tuesday my amazing friend, Loree, and I took Phoebe to Pick-Quicks for some good ol' drive-in food. I love spending time with Loree because she's so good at taking care of Phoebe and because I can tell that she loves Phoebe very much. Phoebe loves her too! Every time Loree plays with her, Phoebe calms down. I told Loree to watch out...if I ever have a stressful night with Phoebe crying, I might be calling her for reinforcements!

The next day, Wednesday, Phoebe and I drove down to Chahalis and met up with my mom, Abby, Kate, and my second cousin--Louisa, and her new baby--Elodie. It was so much fun! Pretty much I showed up and the aunts and Grandm took over and Louisa and I only had to worry about holding our babies when they wanted food. This meant that she and I not only got a break, but we're able to talk and catch up, and it was so nice talking to someone else who is going through baby craziness like I am! It was a perfect afternoon.

Thursday of last week my good friend from teaching, Joy, came over to my place to eat and meet little Phoebster. After seeing me pregnant for months at work, it was really fun for me to get to show her what I'd been hiding under my shirt for so long! And it was just plain good to see her. I admire Joy for her relationship with God and her willingness to do His will. In a world of casual believers, it's refreshing to have a friend who lives her faith.

This week has been just as much fun as the last! This past Monday Phoebe and I had a picnic at the park with Jenna, a young woman from church, and her friend, Alyssa. Let me tell you--I am so glad that I had Phoebe during the summer so that Jenna was out of school and could come spend time with me and baby. This past Monday was mostly fun and games (Skip-bo, to be exact), but there have been other days when Jenna has come over to just hold Phoebe which allowed me to shower or clean or eat. And she's so good at it too! She tells me that she's thought about working with babies someday as a career in the medical field and I'm confident that she would be fantastic at it if that's what she decides to do.

Tuesday a woman I used to visit teach, Sharron, invited me over so that she could finally meet Phoebe and so that she could make me a yummy crab sandwich (a new dish for me!). It was great to catch up with her and her daughter, Diana. They are so generous and I'm grateful they are willing to share their generosity with me.

Wednesday this week I ran on over to my friend Meaghan's place for lunch. She had prepared some Indian food and it was delicious! I love Meaghan because she was the first person in Tacoma that reached out to me. When we moved here I was still trying to figure out the whole being married and making friends thing, and she made it easy. There have been multiple conversations I've had with her where I've walked away feeling lighter and like God cares. Yesterday was no exception.

Today I whipped up some squash soup and ran it over to my friend Carlene's for lunch. Carlene is one of my favorite people. She has a love for living and having fun that I hope I can have when I "grow up!" Since having Phoebe, we've gotten together about every other week to eat or work in her garden or to pick her blueberries or swap summer adventure stories. She has made the transition to motherhood so much easier because I know I have her help and support and friendship there to back me up just around the corner. Plus, it's so much fun to come over and help out on her land and get yummy produce from her garden! I hope that Carlene and I are able to continue spending the weeks together because For me it always makes things brighter.

For someone who was afraid that motherhood was going to be lonely, God is sure proving me wrong. How lucky I am to live a life blessed with so many people who love me! I'm reminded of a quote that I have hanging on my fridge:

"God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs." -President Spencer W. Kimball  

I know that this is true because I've seen it in my own life these past two weeks.

The Mom For Phoebe

Becoming a mom has been wonderful, but there have definitely been ups and downs. This past Sunday morning I was feeling more down than up. Compared to the care I'd seen other mothers administer to their children, I felt my efforts were mediocre at best. And how horrible that was--to feel inadequate at what I've always felt to be the most important job in the world.

There we sat: Phoebe was in her car seat, ready to go to church and crying, and I sat in front of her eating a king sized chocolate bar and almost crying. Jon was already at church attending pre-meetings and feeling very alone in that moment, I felt more than a little overwhelmed.

Amid the chaos of the moment, the Spirit spoke a very important message to me, one that I will never forget. He said: "Perhaps it seems like so-and-so or -so-and-so could do a better job at mothering Phoebe, but I did not send Phoebe to them. I sent her to you. Phoebe needs you to be her mom not just because any random person could do the job and you happened to be available, but because she specifically needs you."

Peace fell over me. My awareness of my flaws and imperfections didn't fall away, but suddenly I didn't feel like they disqualified me for the job. Heavenly Father, knowing all about my flaws and imperfections, sent Phoebe to me anyway and trusts me with her. It is my "me-ness" that makes me qualified for the job, that makes me the mom for Phoebe.

One of Satan's tactics is to make us feel inadequate and unqualified for the tasks that the Lord gives to us. And let's be honest, the reason we listen to him is because lots of times he's right--often we are inadequate or unqualified! But when we feel this way, we need to remember that the Lord makes no mistakes in who He calls to do His work. He will help us as we turn to Him in humble and sincere prayer and He will make up for what we lack. The only mistake is on our part when we don't do this and instead listen to Satan's whisperings or try to do it all on our own.

Now when Phoebe starts crying right when I lay down to take a nap or when she poops on her car seat (or the car itself) and I "get" to clean it up or when it's the middle of the night and she wants to eat even though she ate less than two hours ago and I'm exhausted, I'm less tempted to turn to my chocolate bars and more inclined to turn to the Lord. His confidence in me gives me confidence in myself and blesses me with the peace I need to make it through.

How I Got My New Teaching Job

When I stayed at my Grandma's place on my way up to Washington I got a phone call from a high school in Washington where I had applied to work. They wanted an interview. At first, I hesitated. I hadn't really wanted to apply for the job because teaching high school seemed less appealing to me than teaching junior high. I figured that since I'd applied, though, and that I didn't have a job lined-up for me yet, that I should probably agree to come in. So I did. I happened to be arriving in Washington the night before the day they were interviewing, so it worked out perfectly.

Several weeks before all of this took place, I interviewed over Skype for a job teaching at a middle school in Washington. For some reason, when I set-up the interview for the job, I felt like I shouldn't accept it if the ended up offering it, which was strange because it was where I thought I wanted to be. In the end, the middle school told me that they weren't interested. Though I was disappointed, I simultaneously felt relief because I didn't have to stress over whether or not my bad feelings about the position were from the Holy Ghost because I shouldn't take the job, or from my own feelings of inadequacy and being afraid of doing something new.

The way I felt hanging up after setting-up my interview with the high school was the exact opposite. Even though I had been wondering moments before in the middle of the phone conversation if I should even agree to interview because I didn't really want to teach in a high school, the moment I hung-up the phone, I felt really good about the job.

Fast-forward a few days, and that good feeling I'd received enabled me to perform with confidence in my interview. Three days later, they called me back and offered me the job. I said, "Yes!"

It was a stressful summer, applying for many Washington teaching jobs and feeling like nothing was happening and that I would be doomed to a boring job at McDonald's upon arriving there, but the Lord had a plan for me. He knew I would love teaching where I'm now at because of the wonderful staff and the good kids. I didn't know that though, and so it was frustrating at times. Part of me wonders if He purposefully waited for this job to be posted until the very end of summer so that He could try my faith and patience to see if I would keep searching and trying and praying and hoping even when it felt like I should give-up.

It's wonderful now, on those days when teaching is hard, to remember that I'm where the Lord wants me. I feel like since He helped me get here, He'll also help me make it through. More than that--He'll help me be successful, learn, and come out on top. Things that go according to His plan always go better than things that go according to my plan. I'm grateful to know that the Lord has a plan for my life and I know that I'm the happiest when I seek to know what it is and to follow it.

She Remembered My Name

Saturday I was walking in the produce isle in WinCo when an old lady who had just walked past me whipped around and exclaimed: "Lindsey Rogers!"

It took me a moment to place her face, but after a couple of seconds I realized who this lady was...one of the women who had served in the stake Relief Society presidency when I had been a Relief Society president in my single's ward over two years ago! We talked and said hi for a couple of minutes and then went our different ways to continue shopping, but for the whole rest of my shopping experience I couldn't stop myself from beaming and feeling warm and fuzzy on the inside. Two whole entire years later, and this dear older lady still remembered my name! And it's not like we even saw each other a whole lot when I was serving.

I learned a lot from this lady yesterday about how to really magnify a calling. It's not about to-do lists or activities or percents or meetings or lessons; it's about really loving those I serve and making sure that they know it. Even after my time to serve in a position is over, my responsibility to love those I served never will be.

It would have been so easy for this lady to have seen me and gone on her merry way without saying hi to me. After all, it has been two years since we've seen each other. But instead of putting her head down and avoiding eye-contact while shuffling past me (like I feel most people do) she reached out and said hello. In that moment I felt God's love for me personally.

A Very Good Weekend

This weekend was wonderful!

Yea for Cookies made in a Kitchen Aid!

On Friday evening, Jon and I worked on reliving our the first 3 dates that started it all by making cookies and lemon bars to give away to friends. This is what we did on the second date we had with each other (the one where he finally asked me out!!!) It was fun to use our new Kitchen Aid (thank you!) and to spend the evening chilling.

Late Saturday morning/early afternoon Jon and I went to watch my 7th graders play on the school football team. We cheered on my kids, talked to a few before and after their game, and soaked up some sun.

Later that evening I joined Jon for the first half of the BYU v. Texas game down in the Campus Plaza lounge. After the first hour I left him to pick up my friends I made over spring/summer--Emily and Julie--and the three of us crashed my apartment where we played Banana Grams and talked.

Today Jon and I were sustained to serve as the youth Sunday school teachers in our ward. It's a combined class--with all the youth ages 12-18, and we get to teach together. It will be a couple weeks before we get to teach our first class (because of Regional Conference and the Ogden Temple Re-dedication) but we are thrilled and can't wait to start!

This evening we went over to my Uncle Steve and Aunt Milli's house for a delicious homemade Cafe Rio meal! It was the perfect way to break our fasts. After the yummy food we played Banana Grams. We look forward to going back to their place on Thursday evening to watch BYU take on Huston.

Life is busy and so good. Good friends. Good callings. Good food. Good activities. Good family. Good games. Good husband. Good God. More than anything, it was so good to have time this weekend to find a peace and closeness to God that I haven't felt in a long time. I love Him and am grateful that He's always there for me, even when I mess-up and fail and feel like I deserve no second chances. Because of His Son, though, there always is a second chance as long as I'm willing to work for it. I can't wait to face the adventures of the coming week with Him at my side.

Jon and I at the Salem Jr. High football game!

The Good Follows the Bad

Friday was wonderful in contrast to Thursday.

Thursday nothing at work seemed to go smoothly.
Friday there wasn't a glitch.

Thursday I got some irately given criticism.
Friday I got nothing but praise (and lots of it from lots of different people!)

Thursday I was stressed out like crazy.
Friday things seemed to slide right off me.

Thursday I refused to workout.
Friday I went to the gym even though I didn't really want to and then ended up enjoying it.

Thursday I felt far from God.
Friday I could see and feel His love all around me.

I'm so grateful that bad days can be followed by good days. Now I plan to make the good day followed by a better one.

Earthly Father, Heavenly Father

Today I gained a new appreciation for this video. I got a call around 2:30 from my dad. He wanted to let me know he'd been doing some research about why I hadn't received as big of a tax return as I did last year, discovered that I had filed my taxes wrong, and that I should be receiving more this year than I had filed for. Then, he spent an hour and a half over the phone with me helping me figure out how to fill out forms to request an amendment. This is on top of having already spent an hour and a half two days ago helping me with the original forms. 

Yes--I realize that I'm 22 and should probably be perfectly capable of filing my taxes all by myself, but that's beside the point. The point is that after I hung up with my dad (and let the headache of trying to figure out taxes for an hour and a half subdue) a feeling of immense love and gratitude overcame me as I realized what had just happened:

My dad loves me enough to spend an hour and a half helping me file my original taxes.

My dad loves me enough to spend time trying to figure out why my return for this year was significantly less than last year.

My dad loves me enough to spend another hour and a half over the phone with me, helping me figure out and file the amendment forms. 

I took this all in, then compared it to how different it could have gone:

What if I didn't have a dad to help English-minded me with my taxes? 

What if I didn't have a dad willing to spend time researching why my return this year was less than last year? 

What if I didn't have a dad kind enough to spend time talking me through things over the phone until they were the way they needed to be?

And then, after considering all of this, my next thought was this:

If I have an earthly father who loves me enough to sit down and spend hours helping me figure out my taxes; just think of what that says about my Heavenly Father--a being whom I know loves me infinitely more and does infinitely more for me. 

This video came to mind, and in that moment the love that both my earthly father and my Heavenly Father have for me swelled within my chest and I struggled to keep the tears of gratitude in my eyes from spilling over in the middle of the library. 

I am so grateful for the blessing of having a righteous earthly father who, in so many ways, exemplifies the same love, care, and devotion that my Heavenly Father has for me. I'm also grateful for the knowledge that I have a Heavenly Father; that He loves me dearly; and that He invests time, energy, and care into my life every day so that I may someday return to Him. 

As much as I appreciate the extra money that will be sitting in my bank account in a month, the expressions of love and gratitude I feel in my heart right now are worth more than any amount of money; they are the real tender mercy.

Christmas Through Heaven's Eyes

My heart has been touched recently with love from God and with loving admiration for those around me. I have been blessed to feel a greater measure of the Spirit in my days. I have been blessed to see those around me through His eyes. I have been blessed to taste the love God has for my fellowmen, which has increased the love I have for them myself. In this season of Christmas, amid the business of finals and shopping and decorating and travel, I pray that I may be able to keep this love within my heart and to use it to guide my perspective and my everyday dealings with the loved ones that surround me. I do not want to sell that which is most important to me for a bowl of porridge; I do not want to overlook caring for and loving those around me for far lesser aspirations, such as doing good in school. People--not grades or goals or things--create the substance of life.

This Christmas season, I want to start looking at things a little more through Heaven's eyes.

The Power of Music and the Love of God

This morning I have been reminded of the power of music. These songs where ones that particularly touched my heart:

The Lord loves us so much. I testify that He is invested in you. You. He cares so much about you and wants nothing more than to wrap you up in the warm embrace of His tender love. Be patient with yourself and love yourself the way He loves you. Don't give up. There is an end to the turmoil and sorrow in the world, but we do not have to wait for that end, for there is no beginning or end to the peace which comes from the Lord. His peace--His love--is always there for us. Always. Let us do better at seeking it out and accepting it as He would have us do. Let us more readily experience the love of God in our lives.

Things I'm Grateful For

These are just a few of the reasons why today I am feeling so grateful...

I got to read my scriptures this morning.

Aunt Martha and Uncle David invited Jon, Ems and I to their place yesterday evening for a Pioneer Day BBQ.

Yesterday afternoon I got to spend time cooking and playing games with Jon, Ems and Jacob.

Yesterday morning Sarah, Ems and I got to go hiking up past the Y. It was perfect weather. It was perfect scenery. It was perfect company.

Tuesday night I went up to South Fork Park and had a bonfire with a bunch of friends from the ward.

Before the bonfire on Tuesday I got to grab ice cream with Kathleena and then the two of us talked for a while. It was so good to catch-up with an old friend.

Last week I was blessed to be able to go down to California with Jon to spend the week at his house. His family was amazing and it was an absolute blast hanging out with his little brother, David, while his mom and sister were at girls camp.

In a couple of days I get to go home for a week to go backpacking with my family!

I am dating the best man I have ever met.

In the past 24 hours I have laughed, cried, pondered, been silly and felt immensely blessed and loved. In essence, I have felt human.

I have used and seen the power of the Atonement in my life more frequently this past month than I have in a long time.

These things and more leave me sitting here at the computer, thinking and writing about them all, with a feeling of deep inner peace.

God's Love

"And I said unto him: I know that He loveth His children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things."  -1 Nephi 11:17

"Responding to true love is part of our very being. We innately desire to reconnect here with the love we felt there. Only as we feel God’s love and fill our hearts with His love can we be truly happy."  -Elder John H. Groberg

This is one of my most favorite scriptures. There are so many hard and confusing things in life and so many things in the gospel that we may not fully understand yet. However, these things do not have to stop us from growing and thriving in the gospel. We don't need to know all things. All we need to know is that God knows and loves us. That love will motivate and change us more effectively, quickly and with greater lasting effect than anything else in the world. When we truly begin to understand how dearly God loves us, change becomes natural and instinctive--we want to change for Him. His love will get us through anything. It is enough to sustain us. It is enough to get us through. It will never change, never falter, never fail. We should seek to not just remember, but to feel it every single day. It is real. I know it is.

25 Days Reflecting on Learning: We Cannot Do It Alone

Day Seven: I have been feeling very unmotivated today. Homework has been piling up, it's due tomorrow, and I haven't wanted to do anything but sleep all day. Tonight, when I sat down to attempt doing homework (for the third time) I realized that I wanted the Spirit more abundantly with me because when he's with me, doing my homework is easier. Before diving into the words of the scholars, I turned to the words of apostles and prophets via Mormon Messages. I sat for about twenty minutes, just soaking in their words and pondering. I pondered over the miracle of being a literal child of God, and that He wants me to call Him Father. I marveled at His love and willingness and desire to help me succeed. I tried to wrap my mind around the idea that the most powerful being in all of existence knows me by name and cares deeply about me.

As I sat and thought about all these things, the Spirit prompted me to think about what I have been learning about in my D&C class--the three kingdoms (for more information about the three kingdoms, click here). Out of all the differences between the kingdoms, the one that has most caused me to stop and think is the difference of control. Telestial beings don't have control, Terrestrial beings have total control, and Celestial beings--the greatest of all--surrender complete control to God. Watching these videos tonight has helped me realize that I am trying to live a Terrestrial life in this regard: I am trying to control my life. Every burden life piles on, every item on the to-do list, every worry and care of both mine and those I care about--I try to take it all on by myself.

Not only is this a less happy way of living, it is contrary to the way we were meant to live our lives. It was never intended for us to go through this life doing it all alone. In fact, it is impossible to live our lives the right way when we try to do it on our own. Here I am--trying to do what's right by taking on all of life's hurdles, but I am doing it in the wrong way. Every assignment I get, every heartache that comes my way, every temptation that claws at me, everything I do should be a team effort. Instead of having an "I can do this!" mentality, I need to have a "We can do this" one.

"We": The Father, His Son, and I.

As Paul put it, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" (Philippians 4:13).

I have a firm testimony that we were all created to do amazing things, but I also testify that we are not meant to and cannot do them on our own. When I finish up this post, I'm going to pause to take a moment to pray, and then my Father, my Savior, and I are going to tackle my pile of homework. It's going to be a long night, but at least I won't have to make it through alone.

D&C 76:71-115

I have to keep a journal for my D&C class and decided to keep it on here. So. Here I go:

Today, our assignment was to read D&C 76:71-115, wherein it talked about the telestial and terrestrial kingdoms. I found this quote, from the student manual, about the telestial kingdom particularly touching:

“The [Doctrine and Covenants] explains clearly that the lowest glory to which man is assigned is so glorious as to be beyond the understanding of man. It is a doctrine fundamental in Mormonism that the meanest sinner, in the final judgment, will receive a glory which is beyond human understanding, which is so great that we are unable to describe it adequately. Those who do well will receive an even more glorious place. Those who dwell in the lower may look wistfully to the higher as we do here. The hell on the other side will be felt in some such way.

“The Gospel is a gospel of tremendous love. Love is at the bottom of it. The meanest child is loved so dearly that his reward will be beyond the understanding of mortal man.” --Elder John A. Widtsoe 

I love to be a member of a church that teaches love. I love that--only with very few exceptions--every single person on this earth is going to be rewarded with something glorious for their time here on earth. We have such a loving God.

I also liked how, in this section, it talked about how men are judged according to their works. I'm grateful to belong to a church that teaches that we are ultimately in control of our destiny. God has not predetermined which of us He will save. We will all be resurrected and we can all work hard now to receive greater glory in the world to come. The choice is up to us. 

Letters

Dear Rachel, Thank you so much for running and talking with me last night. I'm so glad we're best friends for life. You're definitely a keeper.

Dear Christopher, You never cease to entertain our apartment. Thanks for the laughs.

Dear Audrey, I'm so happy that you get to stay in our apartment for reals! Now we can continue having conversations about things that make life awkward and family and school and work and life. Awesome.

Dear Amelia and Spencer, You guys are pretty much awesome. I like it when you hang around our apartment and have fun with us!

Dear Brad, Thanks for talking to me the other day about covenants and for going running with me this morning and for making me laugh so hard while we ran. You are such a funny guy, but an even better friend. Keep being awesome.

Dear Emily, It's official. I like living with you. Let's keep doing this, okay? Sweet!

Dear Sean and Alex, It was so fun to see you both yesterday to go and eat yummy Zuppas and to talk about life. Alex--I'm excited to have fun with you this semester. Sean--you are going to be a super awesome/amazing missionary. Thank you for being an amazing example of an amazingly faithful man. I want to marry someone as good and kind as you some day. Yea for awesome families!

Dear Any, You have no idea how happy I was when I found out that we're going to be in the same World Religions class. I have been so worried about that class, but now I'm excited! I hope you can put up with my craziness. I'll try to be mild. At least you're friends with the Pisters. That means you should already be used to crazy. That makes me feel better.

Dear Brady, I'm already missing you. I have an awesome idea. What if you just get a tent and live out in the north court? I'll even let you use my kitchen every once and a while. That way, you can still stay here and play with us all the time. I really like this idea. You in?

Dear Hannah, I loved, loved, loved going to get milkshakes and talking with you last night. You are so cool! I'm sad that you're not living in the apartment complex anymore, but I'm glad that your new place is so nice. I love you!

Dear Mom and Dad and Jessica and Abby and Kate, Thank you for always being willing to sit and talk to me on the phone. Talking to you guys on the phone is the best. We should do it more often.

Dear Kristin, The past several days you have heard me rattle off about my life and not complained about it at all. Thanks for being such an amazing coworker.

Dear School, I can't believe you start next week. Help?

Dear Heavenly Father, Thanks for loving me so, so much. I love you too.

Thoughtlits

Tonight I was sitting and pondering and the thought came to my mind: "Where is God?" After pondering over it for a moment, the answer came to me. He is here. Right here. With me. Over this past semester I have more obviously seen His presence in my life than ever before. As I have striven to prove myself, He has proved Himself as well. When I gave my all--to the point that things got so low and so exhausting that all I wanted to do was to give up--He stepped in and rewarded me for my efforts. There were times when I would look back and realize that He had answered a prayer before I had even realized I needed to utter it. He knows so perfectly exactly what I need and I am amazed by how liberally He gives it to me.

I cannot describe to you the humility and gratitude that this makes me feel. I am overwhelmed that He would care so personally and perfectly enough about me to play such an enormous role in my life. He is the best part of my life.

Goals, Motivations, and Aspirations

"While understanding the “what” and the “how” of the gospel is necessary, the eternal fire and majesty of the gospel springs from the “why.” When we understand why our Heavenly Father has given us this pattern for living, when we remember why we committed to making it a foundational part of our lives, the gospel ceases to become a burden and, instead, becomes a joy and a delight. It becomes precious and sweet."   -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Forget Me Not", 2011 Relief Society Broadcast

Why I Do What I Do:

• So I can help others return to Heavenly Father
• So I can return to Heavenly Father
• So I can one day be happily married and raise righteous children
• So I can become a better person
• So I can learn
• So I can uplift others
• So I can be eternally happy
• So I can one day be like God
• So I can show Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ that I love and care for Them and am grateful for all they do for me
• So I can go to the temple
• So I can have the Spirit's comfort and direction in my life

Desires I Have

• To love God and feel His love for me in return so that I can share His love with others
• To serve, uplift, and inspire people
• To be happy here and now
• To get married
• To have children
• To know, understand, and love the scriptures
• To graduate from BYU with an English teaching major
• To love, respect, and care for my body
• To love going to the temple
• To love, support, and help my parents and sisters
• To feel confident that I'm living the life God wants me to
• To return to live with my Heavenly Father for forever
• To have a firm relationship with my Heavenly Father and Savior here and now

My "To Be" List

• A good daughter
• A good wife
• A good mother and grandmother
• An avid scriptorian
• A helper
• A happy person
• A missionary
• A friend
• A disciple of Christ
• A humble person
• Someone who develops her talents
• Someone who loves being a girl and understands why that make me special
• Someone who knows the Lord and talks with Him multiple times a day
• Someone who wisely makes her own decisions and confirms them with the Lord 
• A person who understands the divinity which God has given me 

Letters

This is the place Michael and I went Hiking--Battle Creek Trail. It was a lot more brown and frozen than it is in this picture, though, because it's still Winter.

Dear Pister, Talking to you on Thursday night was one of the highlights of my semester. Thanks for helping me tune my spiritual radio--the reception has been static-y of late. Reason number two why I have the best home teachers ever.

Dear Amelia, Once upon a time there was a super awesome girl. One week she worked really super awesome hard to get done all her work and to be successful. At the end of that week she went away to spend time with her family (because she's just that awesome). Her roommate missed her that week because they had both been too busy to spend much time together, so she decided to ask her on a date to WinCo the following weekend. The awesome girl accepted. That made her roommate very happy. The end.

Dear Mr. Farnbach, Fantastic conversation last night. I think I learned just as much about myself as I did about you. Thanks for giving me things to think about and for inspiring me to try a little harder to be a little better. I think you're pretty awesome.

Dear Michael, I laugh to myself just thinking about our date going hiking this morning. You managed to get me to laugh for two and a half hours straight. As I said, you "superseded my expectations" (I won't say in what ways you superseded them, but know that it wasn't all bad). Good job. I'm interested to hear how your date with my roommate Rachel tonight compares. As a piece of advice: maybe before then you could practice coloring inside the lines when you drive?

Dear Heavenly Father, I continue being flabbergasted at the many countless ways that you show me you love me. I just can't believe all the work you've been going through over the past several months to help me now with things I didn't even know I'd need help with. You are amazing and I love you.

Letters

Dear Heavenly Father, Maybe you misunderstood me the other day when I prayed for you to give me opportunities to help and lift others, because it seems to be happening the other way around. Others seem to be the ones helping and lifting me. This is especially nonsensical of You because I've been acting rather selfish and downhearted lately and really deserve none of the kindness others are giving me. But still, you prompt them to give it, and they do. Thank you so much for filling my life with extraordinary people who are good enough to be sensitive to those promptings and to follow them, even when they might not recognize that they are doing so. I love you very much.

Dear Joe Badal, Thanks for talking with me and helping me see things clearer. I don't know what our apartment is going to do without your free psychiatric consolations next year. Whitney is a very lucky girl.


Dear Pister, Thanks for always talking and for always waving through your window when I walk by and for wearing awesome hats and for doing your homework outside when it's snowing. Sometimes, I just need to talk to reassure myself that someone is willing to listen. You always listen. Reason number one why I have awesome home teachers.

Dear Michael Millard, Thanks for knowing how to play along with my sarcastic sense of humor and for being silly enough to make me laugh. I like laughing and being sarcastic. It makes me feel happy. Therefore, you make me happy. Reason number two why I have awesome home teachers.

Dear Kara Bury, I've decided that I like you. A lot. I'm excited to get to know you more.

Dear Me, Thanks for being silly enough to walk around on campus wearing barefoot running shoes, capris, and a giraffe hat while it's snowing. I think your outfit might have been ridiculous enough to qualify you as the next victim on "What Not to Wear". That thought, and the thought of what might be going through other people's heads when they pass you, makes me laugh.

God's Work and Glory

“For behold, this is my work and my glory—to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man.” -Moses 1:39

“But even though man is nothing, it fills me with wonder and awe to think that “the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” And while we may look at the vast expanse of the universe and say, “What is man in comparison to the glory of creation?” God Himself said we are the reason He created the universe! His work and glory—the purpose for this magnificent universe—is to save and exalt mankind. In other words, the vast expanse of eternity, the glories and mysteries of infinite space and time are all built for the benefit of ordinary mortals like you and me. Our Heavenly Father created the universe that we might reach our potential as His sons and daughters.

This is a paradox of man: compared to God, man is nothing; yet we are everything to God. While against the backdrop of infinite creation we may appear to be nothing, we have a spark of eternal fire burning within our breast. We have the incomprehensible promise of exaltation—worlds without end—within our grasp. And it is God’s great desire to help us reach it.” -President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, “You Matter to Him”, October 2011 General Conference

A Paradox of Man

Ironic, isn’t it?

That we, the incomplete

He will never mistreat.

That we, who can feel sad

Get to call Him our Dad.

That we, who greatly lack

He helps through each set-back.

That we, who often fall

He esteems above all.

That we, who are broken,

Are His greatest token.

That we, the deficient

Are loved by Omniscient.

Wonderful, isn't it?